Hideous complaints
Sir: Alan Watkins' personal allergies are surely not worthy of a generous half- column in The Spectator (Diary, 16 De- cember) unless they were ordained to be the opportunity for me to extol the virtues of `Canesten' (praise be to the gentlemen in wigs), that miracle cream that for the past 15 years has so materially improved my life. As an instant cure-all for my athlete's foot (formerly a hideous, if not dangerous, complaint), tinea cruris and all those other fungicidal conditions exacer- bated by a long life in the tropics, it has also enabled me to hand out the product as a freebie to my many African friends similarly afflicted and so to improve my standing with my subjects, inter alia as a medicine man.
To preserve my mystique I disguise it as a compound of crushed butterflies pound- ed with the oil of the Tiger Nut (Cyperus esculentus), the stem juice of the red banana (Musa sapientum) and a few ounces of avocado (Persea gratissima) with occasional variations.
James Moxon
United Oxford and Cambridge University Club, 71 Pall Mall, London SW1
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