20 MAY 2006, Page 13

MONDAY

Apparently the interviews for the A-list of candidates were horrendous. Three of Poppy’s friends, Bunty, Polly and Suzie, went before the panel and said it was like Pop Idol. Bernard Jenkin sitting there with his arms folded like Simon Cowell, Shireen Ritchie all smiles and hugs like Sharon Osbourne.

Mr Flight had the worst time. Bernard barked, ‘Well, what do you do?’ ‘Er, I used to be an MP.’ ‘No no. What do you do? Can you sing, can you dance, are you offering to be sawn in half?’ So Mr Flight — O the horror of it — sang ‘I Am What I Am’. Total silence. Mind you, it got him on the list, didn’t it?