I2 YEAR OLD SCOTCH WHISKY

COMPETITION

&VAS REG4 12 YEAR OLD SCOTCH WHISKY

Insecticide

Jaspistos

In Competition No. 1656 you were in- vited to comment, in verse or leading- article prose, on the recent case of a man who was fined £50 for leaving a tarantula without food or water for nine days.

What an odd judgment that was. The oddness of it was well exposed by Pippa Legg in her editorial: 'If someone found a common house spider running over his carpet, caught it, placed it in a container, then forget about it till it died, would this also be punishable with a fine? Is there not an element of "Size-ism" here? The judge should have stated the exact dividing line between the size of a "protected" spider and an "unprotected" one.' Food for thought on the part of Mr Justice Cockle- carrot. The magistrate in our case re- portedly maintained that 'spiders have feelings, just like us'. Fancy being hated by a tarantula! I was a mere arachnophobe, now I'm a screaming one.

The prize-winners printed below take £12 each. Bad luck, David Griffin; if you had made the cut, you would have been the second winner on Canvey Island. The bonus bottle of Chivas Regal 12-year-old de luxe blended whisky belongs to Gerard Benson.

He who the Spider racks with thirst Shall live despised and die accurst; The starved Tarantula's despair Spreads rage and ruin everywhere; Who would the dainty web destroy Shall be deprived of Heaven's joy; He who neglects the Arachnid Shall be relieved of fifty quid; But she who shares her curds and whey Shall in God's coin receive her pay.

(Gerard Benson)

SICK AND PERVERTED! These are the only words to describe so-called animal-loving Britons who betray the trust of dumb creatures.

From the degradation of dogs to the kidnap- ping of cats the chronicle of cruelty goes on. Now there has been a case of spider abuse, an act so despicable that one must question the private ownership of tropical animals in this country.

As Page Three Lovely Lisa discovered (see page 6), a tarantula is a friendly beast with an innocent charm and appeal, in no way like the ordinary house spiders which we are happy to swish down the plughole or crush underfoot. In a cold climate it is unable to survive without human aid which makes the DELIBERATE STARVATION of one of these lovable animals all the more disgusting and depraved.

A £50 fine iS NOT PUNISHMENT ENOUGH. The Sun demands a review of this case immediately, and the instigation of appropriate legislation.

(Katie Mallett) A widower, Sir Jasper Ryders Knew all about exotic spiders, And gave his only daughter Jill A small tarantula, named Bill. Jill misbehaved — I can't recall Exactly how or why; at all Events, her father thought he ought to Deprive the girl of food and water For several days, although this meant Bill sharing in the punishment.

When both were rescued, nearly dead, The magistrates saw rather red: They said he should be kind to Jill, Then fined him heavily for Bill; `Tut-tut,' they said, 'if Bill had died, We would have had you put inside.'

(David Heaton) To the lay observer the recent tarantula cruelty case might seem to smack of arbitrary justice. Did the spider's deprivation not simultaneously ensure survival for the flies which would pre- sumably have formed part at least of its food, so that the neglect merely preserved one life form at the expense (potentially, anyway) of another? Might one not even argue — if somewhat perversely — that cruelty was minimised, since the tarantula was still alive after nine days, whereas the flies would certainly have died?

Yet such reflections are dangerous. Where would it all end? With rescuers of stray dogs, perhaps, locked in litigation with kangaroo preservationists sensing hope for their protégés in diminished dog food sales? In a world of conflicting interests, statute and precedent are our bulwarks against chaos. The spider is protected and the flies are not. It is through such apparent inequities that the equity of law is preserved. (Chris Tingley) I had a little spider, and it danced the tarantella, And I loved it very dearly Until it bit my fella.

His arm swelled up enormous And in his pain he cried, `Go, kill that bloody spider!' And then the poor bloke died.

I took my little spider And hit it with a brick, But the Animal Rights have got me, And now I'm in the nick.

(Hazel M. Stanley) Trust British legislation To furnish this equation, And ask a non-provider Two ponies for a spider.

( A. D. Gibbons)