Irresolut ions

Competitors were asked to submit six rhymed couplets, each embodying in the first line a New Year resolution and in the second a debunking of the same,'somewhat in the spirit of Orhar's " Indeed, indeed, repentance oft before I swore, but was I sober 'when I swore ?"

A very numerous entry provided a dis- tressing collection of hackneyed resolutions, and a veritable orgy of facetious insincerity in the debunking of them. Nevertheless, quite a few competitors achieved originality, if not in subject, then in treatment. Not many succeeded in avoiding the obvious subjects—smoking and drinking; and as a non-smoker, and one who is permanently on the water-wagon, I was gratified to note what bad consciences smokers and drinkers have. Family quarrels got a lot of attention. W. R. S. R. put the general view more neatly than most with:

My wife shall never hear me shout or roar: Silence, I find, infuriates her more.

Oddly enough the abstract virtues seemed to be in the minority. In that department, Kenneth Iachin's couplet stood alone : Hypocrisy and cant I will forswear; (Goodbye to Sunday, virtue, tact and prayer!).

Space will not permit more quotations, and I must get down to the winners. By a private process of hair-splitting I managed to eliminate all but four entries and I recom- mend that £2 go to R. K. Nicholson, who has welded his six couplets into a love poem, and £1 each to R. J. P. Hewison, the Rev. A. C. Morris and I. M. Fraser. Close runners-up were W. R. S. R., A. S. Dingwall and Martin Ammon.

. PRIZES (R. K. NICHOLSON) The first is never again to kiss, Never again, or never quite like this. With your eyes, glory not to bless my sight Being already blinded by their light. No longer, for the third, to break my heart— To grind its fragments finer there's no art. The fourth is not to press you to my breast; Better, all mine being yours, on your own

heart to rest.

Then not to think of you when I'm away: You'll keep my thoughts, and I'll be wandering clay.

The last is not to love you, not love you any 'more,

And not to live, or die, or to have lived before. (a...T. P. HEWISON) I will not sneer, backbite or slander, But sauce for goose is sauce for gander. At breakfast I will not be surly, Provided no one speaks so early. I will be patient, calm and cool,

Unless importuned by a fool.

1 will myself clear up my messes,

Save when, of course, time really presses.

I'll keep account of all I spend:

It makes no difference in the end.

And these resolves I will maintain, Until impelled to think again.

(REV. A. C. MORRIS)

I will not light my pipe till tea is o'er, -Tea shall be served at eight, breakfast at four. "Who-dun-its" 1 renounce, thrillers despise, Save as a form of mental exercise.

Gambling is off. It is a game for fools. —But not, of course, investing in the pools. Work shall come first. No odd days-off I'll take —Unless I take them for my dear wife's sake. Large sums to charity 1'11 give away: Yet charity begins at home, they say. 1 shall reform myself: for my past deeds atone. But that would lead to pride; I'll let myself alone. (t. M. FRASER) I was resolved to make resolving firm, And thought to start, say, at the Easter term.

I strove to gain detachment from mankind, But no one noticed my ennobled mind.

I thought to love my neighbours, but forbore, For who could love the pompous ass next door?

I bravely locked my cigarettes away, Then feared they might go stale in half a day.

I vowed economy, and then heard tales Of really lovely bargains at the Sales.

I swore to swear not; nobly did I try.

O blast this pen, the damn thing's running dry!