22 MAY 2004, Page 79

Q. Can you tell me what is the form about

chatting at the breakfast table during grand house parties? My husband is convinced that, on the grounds that most of the fellow guests will be hungover or grumpy, it is bad form to do anything other than read the newspapers and offer to pass things to fellow guests, but! feel that is a bit curmudgeonly. Can you rule, Mary?

0.A., Suffolk A. It is true that many people are grumpy in the morning even without hangovers. They find voices jamng at that time of day, but the form is that if you don't want to talk yourself it is perfectly acceptable to shelter yourself behind a newspaper. There is no rule of silence because, unlike dinner parties or dances, house parties provide a rare opportunity for people to get to know one another properly. The more frequent breakfast can be used as a testing ground, the better for everyone involved, particularly those with marital decisions pending.