23 AUGUST 2008, Page 43

Way of the warrior

Taki

On board S/Y Bushido Finally a gold medal for Greece, for cheating. Fifteen of our men and women have joined the pantheon of cheaters, the latest our 400-metres hurdles gold medal winner in Athens, Fani Halkia. It’s a disgrace but the athletes are not solely to blame. Ever since the Soviet Union began using the stuff that makes women grow moustaches for their shot putters, early in the Sixties, the athletes have been pawns of governments. What’s a dumb young person supposed to do when their trainer tells him or her to inject a substance which will turn them into winners? Report them to higher-ups who have given the order in the first place?

I’ve just celebrated yet another birthday, which I need like the proverbial hole in the cranium, and at 72 I am fed up with our pampered youth, but fair is fair. All the cheats were taught to cheat early and then some. I only hope that Jamaica does not turn out to win a Nobel Prize for masking agents, but cruising to a 100-metres win in 9.6 seconds has detective Taki on the scent. So far, so cynical. The Jamaicans will point out that they’ve had 36 visits from the antidoping team and that Usain Bolt himself has been tested at least six times since he got to China. Who knows? They may well be clean — unlike the Greeks.

Peking was once a beautiful city which has been turned into a hideous mass of skyscrapers by the ruling gang of capitomunists. The Potemkin performance of that little girl singing ‘Ode to the Motherland’ was typical. The voice was right, the teeth were not, but the combination worked. Maybe Chen Qigang, the music director, should also be disqualified, like the 15 Greeks. The only way to stop the cheating is to declare it legal, or ban each and every country whose athletes use an illegal substance for, say, two Olympic Games. That’s two paid-for trips, stays in 5-star hotels, and endless parties with the de rigueur hookers following. Not many officials would like to see themselves excluded from these bonanzas, so cheating would at least be curtailed. Needless to say, all athletes and their trainers should be banned for life once caught.

When the Chinese got caught with their hands in the Chinese cookie jar over the fake singing, they answered quite correctly. ‘Doesn’t this happen in Hollywood daily?’ they asked reporters. Quite right. Ugly girls do not make big splashes in Tinseltown, or at least they did not in my day. Now ugly people seem to be the stars of TV reality shows, which illustrates that the Chinese have a very long way to go to catch up with the West. In fact the Chinese are so backward, they actually try to put their best tooth forward, so to speak, and hide a little girl with bad front teeth in favour of one whose perfect gnashers hide a falsetto voice. Just think back to Singing in the Rain, the great musical of the Fifties, when the delightful Debbie Reynolds did the real singing for Jean Hagen behind a curtain. The Chinese are back in the Fifties, whereas we are into reality freak shows. I sure hope the East does not try to catch up; it’s bad enough they ruined their cities trying to look like us.

And speaking of empty-headed ways of spending money in order to seduce rubes, I wonder if those poor souls who were evicted from their houses, which were then reduced to rubble by the authorities, will get some compensation. Elbowing aside the poor in order to present a rich face to a lot of free-loaders is hardly an Olympic ideal. But that’s what took place in Peking, and I spell it the old way because it’s my right to do so. Razzmatazz has replaced the simplicity of old Greece and of the Olympics. I hate it and it’s the last time I will write about it. Unless I’m still around in 2012, when London makes a total fool of itself in order to please fat and corrupt officialdom. Poor Boris. If he wants to make a statement he should accept Bushido for the duration and cruise the Greek isles while a lot of cheaters compete in chemistry in London.

Once upon a time we honoured the past, like the Japanese still do. I fly a Japanese imperial battle flag on my main mast, and at times people approach the boat and ask if the boat is Japanese-owned. Then they ask the reason why I fly such a flag. Depending on the manner of the inquiry, whether it’s polite or aggressive, the crew or myself answer them. Bushido, after all, is the soul of Japan, the code of the Samurai, the way of the warrior, everything the modern Olympics are not, hence some rude exchanges. The Yasukuni shrine is referred to as a shrine to war criminals by Western hack know-nothings. Yet the places where Roosevelt and Truman are buried are not excoriated each and every time someone pays their respects to the two warmongers. Soldiers are like athletes, pawns in the grubby hands of politicians and other greedheads, weird, misbegotten perverts who drag countries to war by using flacks such as the neocon cabal in Washington DC (Kristol, Frum, Perle and others too disgusting to mention in the elegant pages of the Speccie).

I’ve had one of the best summers ever because the boat and the crew were perfect, and now it’s time to resume martial arts in the Alps as I plan to defend my world title for the last time next year in Budapest. In person, I hope.