No. 1310: The winners

Jaspistos reports: Competitors were asked for the title and publisher's blurb of a recondite or absurd new cookery book.

If there had been prizes for just titles, Ron Jowker and Mark Gilbert would have scored with their deeply unappealing The A to Z of Lentils and The George Orwell Cookbook. Among the most excruciating puns were The Glory that is Grease (Jane Webb) and Off the Beeton Track (divers hands). Two especially interesting volumes were Grace Smith's The Complete Lawyer's Cookbook, 'loaded with latent ambiguities, deft turns of phrase and moot mixtures' and W.J. Taylor-Whitehead's cookbook 'designed for those who have no money, no kitchen and no conscience'.

The winners, whose works make an in- triguing library ranging from the insipid to the emetic, are awarded £8 each, and to Peter Hadley goes the bonus bottle of Californian Fume Blanc 1981 (Robert Mon- davi), presented by Mr Neville Abraham of the Cafe des Amis du Vin, 11 Hanover Place, Covent Garden, London WC2 (379 3444).

Liberal Helpings

At last, a cookbook for those who really enjoy their food and seek to appease unconservative appetites with a minimum of labour. Here they all are, Cyril Smith's own favourite noshes salivating starters, satisfying soups, succulent stews, slushy sauces, scrumptious sweets, spicy savouries, substantial snacks. And none of those mingy measures, either: each recipe yields ample for second and even third gigantic helpings. To crown it all, Big Bill Werbeniuk, gentle giant of snooker, helps you to wash them down with a special chapter on 'Pot-promoting Potations'. No wonder all good gourmands are cueing for their copy!

(Peter Hadley)

A Hundred Ways with Spring Water

Conscious of the dubious additives and refined poisons we pump into our protesting systems, Delia Dishwater has come up with the ultimate diet book. She argues convincingly that the most refreshing change from ersatz, 'flavour- enhanced', synthetic foodstuffs is the simplest and most tasteless substance known to man — water.

Despite an introduction full of lively informa- tion on biodegradable plastic bottles and the `tyranny of the tap', the book stands or falls on the recipes themselves. And from the sophisticated 'Crushed Ice-Cubes a l'Evian' to the simple 'Eau de Source Chauffee' — one of several recipes for mulled water, perfect for chil- ly winter evenings — it's a winner!

(Peter Norman)

Thin and Fancy: Alternative Appetisers for Anorexics

How long have cookery books been dominated by the taste-bud brigade? Here, at last, is a nor!' tastist book which really does show that there is more to food than feeding. Chapters on Fun Snacks to Throw Away; Meals that Melt on the Plate, not in Your Mouth; Games You Can PlaY with Pasta; Good-looking Dishes You Can Serve and Serve Again without having to Eat; and many more. Also handy hints on how to refuse meals without giving offence and what to do with unwanted slimming biscuits. Not a meal in this sumptuous book need pass your lips. Isn't that a relief?

Gourmet Cooking — Eskimo Style This is no everyday cookbook. In 700 full-colour pages James Bolinger brings the reader a unique taste of the good life in Northern Canada- Each recipe the product of dedicated research through five long Arctic winters, these are the Meals served when a celebration calls for something ° bit better than blubber. As in other volumes in the series, the author's simple instructions are discreetly adapted for use in the modern kitchen with ingredients obtainable from any good delicatessen. The whole text is interwoven with accounts of the igloo kitchens where these dishes were first served and vignettes of the people who ate in them. (Rob Hull) Crammed with imaginative recipes using inexpensive additional ingredients to transform all sorts of leftovers into delicious new dishes, the Doggy-bag Cookbook specialises 10 ingenious combinations of foods of different ethnic origins. With its aid, the value of invitations to restaurant meals or wedding receptions can be doubled, even trebled. The Doggy-bag Cookbook is an investment which will pay for itself many times over.

After suggesting discreet ways to order surplus food and get waiters to fill take-away boxes or plastic bags, the gourmet author, F. Ree-Loader, gives invaluable guidance in the preparation and re-cooking of varied, balanced meals out of the most unlikely materials. (Barbara Smoker)

Poorer Cook

(with- a foreword by Mrs Margaret Thatcher) Poorer Cook has been prepared in consultation with home economists, dieticians and nutrition experts of the highest distinction. All the menus and recipes contained have been meticulously costed to meet the budget of a family living Ori Supplementary Benefit and are planned, within these limits, to provide an adequate diet. In a separate section the author describes cooking methods suitable for use in- an ordinary council house when gas and/or electricity have been cut

(N.J. Warburton) off. (Hazel Stanley)