THE SHARP-HAND ARTIST
SIR.—Many who have spent a lifetime in India will recognise the Sharp-hand Artist's application for a post as given in Tam bimuttu's article in your issue of Septem- ber 3. More than twenty years ago (I retired in 1935) the Times of India (Bombay) published the following:
As She is Wrote.
A man out of a job, like a married man, will (according to cynics) do any- thing for a living. Few, however, we imagine, would go so far into the morasses of crime as the author of the following letter (authentic):-
One stamps for half the annS enklosed for the honored reply.
- Bombay.
Most honored Sir,—Understanding there are several hands wanted in your honor's dept I beg to offer my hands. As to my adjustiments I peard for the metri- kulation exrnination at Ooty, but failed, reason for which I will deskribe to begin with my writing was illigible this was due to clemit reason for I having come from a worm to a cold climlt found my fingers stiff and very disobedent to my wishes. Further I had received a grate shok to my mental cistern in the shape of the death of my only fond brother besides most honored sir I beg to state that I am in very uncormfortable circumfarenses being the soul suport of my fond brothers seven issus konsisting of three adults and four adultresses, the latter beitii the bain of my existence oing to my having to support two of my own wifes as wel as three issus of which by Gods misfortune the femenene gendre predominates. If by wonderful good fortune the few humbel lines meet with your benign kindness and favourable turn of mind I the poor Menial shall ever pray for the long life and prosperity of yourself and your honors posthumus olive branches.
1 am your honors very dutifull servant. It may be mentioned that the ' one stamps cnklosed ' was a used one and that several famous jests are recognisable. It seems that the Times of India version was a chestnut even in my day. But I am glad tg_see it still makes a good story, though how far into the future it will carry will doubtless depend upon my numerous post- humous olive branches !—Yours faithfully,
QUAI liAl
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