25 DECEMBER 1953, Page 15

SIR,"---Surely the " delicate point of etiquette " on which

Sir Carleton Allen seeks judgment depends neither on " formal status " nor " chivalry," as he suggests, but on ordinary good manners as generally accepted. if he and his wife attend a formal reception they will undoubtedly be announced as " Sir Carleton and Lady Allen," but 1 venture to doubt whether Sir Carleton will ever be seen preceding his wife -into the room. Nor do I ever expect to hear him say "1 and my wife." Those who stick to the more formal fashion will put " From Mr. and Mrs. John Doe " on their Christmas cards, but in the more modern and friendly mode " From Mary and John Doe " would seem to be the acceptable form.

It will not have escaped notice that while the earliest published formal messages—no doubt drafted on her behalf—from the Queen began " 1 and my husband," this was very quickly changed to " My husband and L" There, presumably, one can detect the hand of Her Majesty over-ruling " formal status." (The fact that Her Majesty's father and grand- father invariably referred to "The Queen and I " infers no precedent; consorts of kings share the royal style and estate; consorts of queens regnant do not.) Sir Carleton might conceivably argue that this august instance comes into the category of chivalry—a quality • not confined to men, despite the derivation of the term; I prefer a more, warmly human interpretation.—Yours faithfully, VALENTINE HEYWOOD Birch Hanger, Chalfont St. Giles, Bucks