25 MARCH 1989, Page 34

Hymn, Ancient and Modern

While farmhands watched the box at night And supped their pints of ale, The newsroom unexpectedly Flashed an unlikely tale.

Though warned 'Don't panic,' all the lads Were witless with surprise When they were told, 'The signs are good World-wide, salvation-wise.

What's happened here, in Bethlehem — A birth, just minutes since, Means things won't be the same again — So experts are convinced.

The child's cot is a laundry skip In back of the hotel, His clothes are from the Oxfam Shop, His blankets are as well.'

They'd got an amateur video which Showed — smudgily — a throng Of all the pop-stars you can name, And Geldof led the song: 'Let's hear it for our God up there, Who says, "You keep the peace, And socio-economic growth Will hopefully increase."

(Our lines are based on Nahum Tate's — Writ centuries before We got our hands on them and made Them relevant once more.

We feel sincerely Tate would share Our non-elitist end:

Tom Aitken