; . . was had by all

SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 460: Report by Blossom Bob Cratchit's Christmas celebration having been immortalised by Charles Dickens, competitors were asked to do the same thing for one of the following: Harry the Horse, Rabelais's Friar John, adipus, Mr. Salteena or Hans Breitmann.

istE was when, about this part of the year, Bob 'ratchit could be found in any one of thousands f school and church halls. Time may be when ome of our own characters will have acted poor ob completely off the stage-1 hope so, for your ntries have provided immense fun. The standard as very high and, at the risk of appearing atronising, I cannot recall such an elegant selec- on.

Many years ago and against my better judgment deputised for Father Christmas, but after that ne harrowing experience I swore that it would ever happen again. Yet I now find myself with sack full of guineas for the more deserving cases, 'hristmas but a few days off and a weakening esolution. First comes the Breitmann fellow : Hans Breitmann's Ghristmas Burly Vos in der vuliste schving, M it guests aroundt der zitepoardt As trunck as anyzing.

Der durkey vos gegessen De boodings all gonsumdt, Und dere vos gomic tanzen Mit kopfen baper-blumdt.

Hans Breitmann blayed biano, Mit von handt out of gey, Pecos ein zozzled fraulem

Zat gissin' auf sein knee.

Der Ghristmas dree vos blunderdt,

De embdies in a bile; 1 schlebt dere auf der garbed Mit ein so happy schmilc!

(R. A. MCKENZIE.)

'. G. Daish may have a Happy Christmas Greet- ag; I quote his last four lines just to prove how lose he was to a present :

Ven beck to voik Piet Schneider, Der mittel of der veek.

Hans say---.'Und did you 'joyed yourselfs?' 'Vass. please sir; ye vass seeek !'

klberick may have a Happy New Year because e just missed a Breitmann touch. The less said

about Friar John the better, nobody thought him worth a Christmas celebration; I'm not sure what this proved, but have a look at Rabelais and see what you missed. Forward to Mr. Salteena. Daisy Ashford's style was reproduced by almost every other competitor; our incomparable friend had story to go with the style :

Another mime pie suggested M r. Salteena. Dont press me old boy said Bernard Clark, as he sirveyed the groning hoard I could not eat another morsle, Lady Gay Finchling gigled and said ask me M r. Salteena. Lord Clincham frownd and wispered to Ethel she is a little tidly if you know what 1 mean. Ethel blushed and wispered back I fear that what your Lord Ship says is only too true. And now Lady G. F. climed on to her chare waring a red nose and a paper hat. Three cheres for Bernard Clark and his bried she cried and after making a few more rarther witty remarks she colapst on the table. Bernard Clark risponded tactfully in a few well chosen words. Then a mental came in with the coffee and Mr. Salteenas Chrismas fcest was linnished. And so is my chapter.

(ALLAN M. LAING.)

Gloria Prince, Eileen Tulloch, Barbara Brocklesby and Nancy Gunter may take the empty bottles back and share the money that they get from the nice man at the off-licence. Harry the Horse trampled all over the place and came a very nice second. J. A. Lindon, Russell Edwards and Gordon were sufficiently credible to take home the best paper hats. My personal choice was for an entry from Scotland that very nearly missed Runyon but made ground on thoughtful originality :

One Christmas Day I am in Good Time Charley's helping his ever-loving wife mind her baby when who should come in but Harry the Horse and Spanish John and Little Isidore. They are carrying tin boxes which belong to the Oriental Stores in 49th Street and which they place in the baby's crib because they are expect- mg the gendarmes. Naturally I will not be having any part in these proceedings so it is some days before I, meet Harry again and learn what hap- pens. And what happens is that the gendarmes do not find anything. for naturally they do not suspect the baby of robbery. 'But while they are disappointed,' says Harry, 'it is nothing to our disappointment when we open the boxes and find nothing but incense and spices and only a very little gold.' 'In fact we are so disappointed,' says Harry, 'we give them to the baby.'

(C. M. HROUN.) There was more fun than I expected with (Edipus. G. J. Blundell presented a very workman- like piece of verse, and very serious too! Colin Prestige wound up with 'Soon the boys got drunk, shocking their parents. "Thank goodness your ancestors can't see you two disgracing us," exclaimed Jocasta,' and from R. Kennard Davis we had :

Poivt4Eictis: He's bagged my paper crown. CEutrus : 0 you two! You'll kill each other one day !

However, since the (Edipus story is essentially a tragedy I selected the following as being proper to the occasion:

The fun was at its height, the wine flowing most freely, and the dancing at its wildest when Antigone raised her golden goblet to toast Jocasta and her brothers: 'A merry Saturnalia to us all! May the gods bless us every one!' The whole gathering re-echoed the sentiment. She looked round. 'Where is father? He promised to play a game with us.'

Suddenly (Edipus appeared,. leaning heavily upon his crutch for his feet were still very swollen. The Spirit of Saturnalia Present has just left him. He had been so stricken by the terrible truth that the oracle revealed, that be had gone immediately and put out his eyes. 'Father!' cried Antigone in joy. 'We have been waiting so long for you. Now we can all play Blind Man's Buff.'

(P. w. R. FOOT.)

And, by the way, R. A. McKenzie, Allan M. Laing, C. M. Broun and P. W. R. Foot may each look in their Christmas stockings for a guinea and a half.