BONDAGE SIR,—Since James Bond has had the honour of being
mentioned in three separate departments of your issue of October 12, and since Bond is at present away in Magnetogorsk, I hope you will allow me to comment on his behalf.
'Spectator's Notebook': Queequeg asks what happened to the crabs in the film Dr. No. Alas, they went the way of the giant squid, despite urgent representations from me and from one of the producers. The black crabs had not started 'running' in Jamaica last February when the Jamaican scenes were being shot, but on my return to London in March 1 received an excited invitation to visit Pine- wood and inspect a consignment of spider crabs obtained from Guernsey. A large tank was unveiled. All the crabs were dead. I asked if they had been preserved in sea water and was told that, since none was available, they had been put in fresh water with plenty of salt added! After that the crab faction gave up.
Letters: Mr. Snell suggests that my serial biography of James Bond is 'a barrier to international understanding.' He seems not to have noticed that since Thunderball the international organisation 'SPECTRE' has taken over as enemy Number One from SMERSH, the murder apparat of the then MWD, dissolved, as I wrote in Thunderball, by Khrushchev. As the recently concluded spy trial in Karlsruhe, involving the liquidation of two Ukrain- ians by a Soviet assassin with a cyanide gas pistol, shows, the machinery of cold-blooded murder by the, now, KGB is again in business and I cannot promise that Bond may not be called upon in the line of duty to involve himself with these new ambassadors for 'international understanding' sent out into the world by Moscow.
Cinema : Mr. Ian Cameron, with a fastidious stamp of his grey suede winkle-pickers, scrunches the Dr. No film, while describing James Bond as 'every intellectual's favourite fascist' James Bond's politics are, in fact, slightly left of centre.