High life
Poor fool
Taki
The telephone rang around six in the morning, and although for once I had gcme to sleep about four hours earlier, it seemed more like four minutes. Just as I Was about to tell the mother of my children '".hat I think of people who pick the one night I go to sleep early to ring at six in the Morning, she passed me over to someone who made me literally sit up. (I have always Wondered about sitting up upon hearing good or bad news while in a horizontal Position. The ancient Greeks used to do Most of their thinking on their backs, and good thinking it was, too, so why do we moderns jump up in order to make the brain function better? Perhaps that is why most courtesans, or grand horizontals, are s,e, much more successful than feminists. They have better thinking positions.) „, The voice was unmistakable because not 'any people speak like Claus Bulow. After aPologising for waking me he asked if I could be of help on a matter pertaining to the character of a witness for the prosecu- tion. Unfortunately I could not as I don't know the person. But I did chat for a She and then Alexandra got back on. itie sounded very depressed. Claus has from elicited admiration and affection Nrem, Women of the upper classes. Ironical- However, it was the testimony of women that finally did him in. And now my old gang is sadly depleted. First 'Lucky' Lucan, nc% Claus Bulow. I wonder who among the
Aspinall set (as the gutter press refers to people like me) will be next. Although, I must say, I was very reluctant to believe that Claus was guilty. Just as I am sure that had Lucan been born Greek or Turkish, a Solomonic judge would have given him two years maximum. After all, it was a case of mistaken identity. Lucky didn't want to kill poor Sandra Rivett. He was aiming for his wife.
The funny thing is that Sunny Bulow was certainly not one to drive anyone to murder her. Although it looks very bad for Bulow right now, I think he'll beat the rap on ap- peal. Claus might have been many things in his life — including a page at Goering's se- cond wedding — but he was never stupid. And it takes a real dummy to keep the murder weapon around in a black bag four months after the event. Needless to say, I am only speculating, but if Claus did try to kill his wife, and was caught through care- lessness, he only has America to blame. Fif- teen years of living among the rich and the black will give anyone enough of a superiority complex to believe he can get away with anything. One thing that will prove his guilt or innocence is whether he will kill himself if he loses his appeal and has to serve. A cynic like Claus would ac- cept the fact that he had gambled and lost and would depart this world gracefully. If he is guilty, that is. An innocent man, false- ly convicted, hangs around until the bitter end. (I should know. When a Greek court sentenced me to 16 months in the cooler for libel, I fled on my yacht. How was I to know that it was possible to libel the Greek press?) So, remember: if he does not die, he is innocent. We'll know soon after 2 April.
And now for my main point. The sainted editor of the Spectator has recently been picking on this poor little Greek boy with snide remarks about my idol John Aspinall. In fact, Aspers has never defended anyone behind his back, especially one about to lose all his money and stop gambling for at least 20 years. So how can Mr Chancellor write that he imagines Aspinall at some din- ner table booming away, in a solemn voice about the injustice done to von Bulow. I just had dinner with Aspers upon my return
`Unfares please.' from Gstaad, and can solemnly swear that nothing could be further from the truth. Aspinall believes in law and order, and thinks that a man who goes over the top, or loses a calculated gamble, should fall on his sword. (He even went so far as to pon- tificate about how intolerable it is to have one law for the rich and another for the poor.) But when I pointed out to him that this was a case of a poor man being convict- ed for trying to rip off a rich person, he suddenly was at a loss for words.
It was last summer when Aspers last heard from Claus. The day before the greatest ball of this century, Aspinall got a very apologetic call from Claus begging to be excused for missing the dinner and dance. 'I'm really very sorry but something of importance has suddenly come up.' What had come up was two counts of at- tempted murder. What is amazing about Claus is his mind-boggling social correct- ness. Especially as there were ten FBI agents listening in on the call. Like most people of dubious origins, Claus acted the part of an aristocrat but didn't understand the role. Poor fool. Lucan used a metal pipe. Even with the latest scientific advances, insulin does not show up on lead pipes.
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