LETTERS From the Marbles
Sir: May we be allowed, through the courtesy of your columns, to express our personal sentiments — smuggled out from our cell in the British Museum — concern- ing our ultimate controversial fate.
We categorically swear by all the gods that we do not belong to Britain, and neither for that matter to Greece; and most certainly not the Turks who sold us into captivity well below our market value. We belong, sir, as the civilised world will readily acknowledge, to Antiquity, to Post- erity, and above all to the Parthenon.
Although Nephos, that upstart god of Pollution, has sworn to destroy us should we ever again set foot in our lawful home, nevertheless if only Zeus and Aries and Co could forget about Star Wars for a moment and devote their efforts to the technology of destroying this monster, we could be home and dry in no time. This, naturally, is our fervent desire and it is cold comfort to learn that N. Kinnock has agreed — when he becomes Prime Minister — to transfer us from our existing premises to confine- ment in some Greek museum; thereby likening himself to the proverbial ass who is generous with the horse's provender.
Our ultimate goal is that one day a plaque will be placed on the Parthenon to commemorate that 'the marbles acquired by Lord Elgin between 1802 and 1812 were returned to their rightful home on —, through the goodwill of the British and Greek people' (and, perhaps, through the magnanimous generosity of the Rockefel- ler Foundation, the Onassis Foundation, Paul Getty and a host of other multi- millionaires who would be chuffed to see their names carved for posterity on the Acropolis nearby that of Saint Paul the Apostle himself).
In the interim we remain in stony silence, per pro the Parthenon Marbles.
Phidias PO Box 4, Corfu
Previous page
