A gay egg
Sir: I strongly suspect that some of my so- called 'farm fresh' eggs are homosexual. This is because I have just read an article which says that nearly 10 per cent of all liv- ing organisms are thus inclined. It therefore follows that my carton of one dozen, pur- chased yesterday in good faith from Safe- way, must contain at least one deviant. In my opinion supermarkets ought to do more to identify and isolate such eggs before they are passed on to the consumer. Not that I have any prejudices. Some of my best breakfasts have no doubt been gay. My only concern is that homosexual eggs might become mixed with those of a more con- ventional sexual orientation in a single meal. As a result, one would risk producing an omelette or quiche which was confused as to its leanings. A purely homosexual or heterosexual dish, on the other hand, would probably afford a greater taste experience. To this end, supermarket staff should routinely test eggs as and when they are brought into the store. Presumably this could be done by giving each a little top spin and then observing its motion. Those that veered leftwards would be separated from the rest and decorated with a little leather Muir cap and a Mery Hughes mous- tache.
Michael J. Hewitt
Flat 18, 5 Park Hill, Carshalton Beeches, Surrey
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