YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. When would it be correct to start talking about the forthcoming television produc- tion of Dance to the Music of Time? I have already seen some of the filming going on in bits of central London.
E.G., London SW3 A. It would do you no social harm to start talking about it straightaway. However, you should stop immediately the series begins to appear on the box.
Q. I am a young employee of a fine, old and prestigious investment banking firm. One of the partners asked me for my credit card to make a purchase of some items. He used the card, returned it, and has not contacted me since. He owes me about £500. How should I remind him of his debt to me with- out seeming pushy? A Polite Manager, Address withheld A. Approach the partner, waving your cred- it card statement and saying, 'Excuse me, sir, I think we may have a bit of a problem here. I'm sure when you borrowed my card last month you said you would be spending about £300, but look! It looks as though you've been ripped off for £500! Do you want to give me the details of what you actually ordered and I'll look into it for you?' Having opened up a discussion on the subject of the actual figure owed, this leaves the way clear for you to make the helpful offer, 'If you'd like to make the cheque out to Barclaycard for whatever, then I'm very happy to post it off for you and do the paperwork.'
Q. This summer I was forced to travel on the Edinburgh to London train the evening before the Scotland-England rugby match. Needless to say, the train was packed with drunken hooligans from both countries behaving in a loud and aggressive manner. A large number of the Scottish fans were wearing eagles' feathers in their balmorals and glengarries. This poses a serious prob- lem of etiquette that I hope you can help me with. As you probably know, in Scot- land only three kinds of people are allowed by tradition and the Court of the Lord Lyon to wear eagles' feathers in their hats: armigerous Scots may wear one feather, clan chieftains may wear two, and only clan chiefs may wear three. No one else has this privilege. When the train arrived in London I passed a large group of these drunken youths all in various stages of undress, most without shirts on, but all with feathers in their hats. What should I have done? I deduced from their behaviour and dress that they were unlikely to be a gathering of clan chiefs and so I could be forgiven for not making the customary acknowledgment of their rank. How should I have approached this group in order to have them respect the dignity of their own coun- try's customs and still be able to walk away on my own two feet?
E. S., Cambridge A. The safest physical option would have been for you to let the mob continue on its rampage. However, you might have been forearmed on this occasion with a bag full of pheasant feathers. Feeling as strongly about it as you do, it might have been worth your while to soak your clothing in whisky to give authenticity to the gesture of friendship you would make in approaching each hooligan in turn and offering him a pheasant feather to add to those in his hat 'for luck'. With four feathers per hat per drunk, you perhaps would have felt that the breach of etiquette was now rendered inconsequential.
Previous page
