YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. Since my dog was run over I feel self- conscious going for a country walk on my own. What should I do?
C.H., Wick Pershore, Worcestershire A. Always carry a couple of stamped envelopes in your hand as though heading for a post box. Or take a tip from a farmer friend, who makes a point of carrying seca- teurs to offset curious stares while he goes about the harmless business of taking a walk for pleasure alone.
Q. My much older boyfriend is a landowner and countryman. In his youth he was a hip- pie. He has invited me to go to Glastonbury Festival — a concept which appals me, but it is too early in our relationship to admit this to him. I want to give him the impres- sion that we are compatible but I am living in dread of spending two nights in a tent with mice and insects climbing over me. How can I brave this ordeal without him finding out what a townie I secretly am?
Name and address withheld A. Customise your tent by pinning a mosquito net to the roof, passing this off as a style accessory. By tucking it securely around your sleeping surface you will turn it into a `mousequito' net. No small animal will be able to intrude and you will be able to sleep in peace. Q. Re livening up weekend parties (6 May): for an immediate short-term pick-me-up for a flagging party, a power cut works won- ders. Study the fuse box at length before- hand so you can flick the necessary switches at any moment — and miraculously restore power if required. Be prepared to divert any electrically minded guests and be care- ful not to ruin anything you are cooking. Tension vanishes, everyone wants to help. The fumbling around in the dark with (pre- bought) candles also brings out characteris- tics in guests that might otherwise have remained dormant. I hope this is useful. It works a treat.
D.A.H.R, Edinburgh A. Thank you for reminding me of this use- ful ploy which works well for all age groups under 50. However, I disagree with you about the candles. While the host or host- ess is pretending to investigate the power cut, pitch darkness is more likely to Pr()" mote physical bonding between members of opposite sexes who might be attracted to one another, who will thereby have the excuse to grope. Indeed, the hostess can even instruct people to 'hang on to some' body else's hand and make sure you are sit- ting comfortably while we sort out the problem'.
Q. My god-daughter is marrying all extremely rich man on 21 June. Can You suggest a novel wedding present for a Cou- ple who will have everything? G.V.S., London S1I'3 A. Why not take a tip from one fashion leader who has acquired an umpire's chall as seen at Wimbledon? Standing 1' metres off the ground, the chair makes an ideal vantage point for those who wish to enjoy a bird's-eye view of their garden al well as giving them a sense of genet.3 superiority. Contact En Tout Cas tan! court suppliers (01293 452763) for details of the traditional-style green wooden in°d- els at £274.13 plus VAT (and £12.50 car: riage), or the aluminium model at £371.95 plus VAT (and £12.50 carriage).
Mary 16110
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