In Defence of American Women
"AMERICAN women are so spoiled," is a common saying, and the usual remark in articles of which the only theme seems to be the price of their pearls; their desire for change, their nervous tension, their dazzling parties and their preoccupation with themselves to the utter exclusion of other people. But these are the wives of the millionaires, and even then only the frivolous of the species. Now the millionaires of America, though much in the public' eye, are in a microscopic minority, and it is no fairer to judge by the wives of millionaires than it would be, for example, to generalize about Englishwomen from the riders in the Row or the owners of boxes at the Opera. And, even then, one could write of the wives of those other millionaires, who take their wealth seriously, look upon it as a trust, and spend most of their time in personally superintending the charities which interest them.
Are they spoiled ? Do the writers know that there are many towns in America-without one single, solitary servant, towns where all the women have to- do -their own- housework, cooking, most of the washing; and usually. the gardening ? They dci it cheerfully, com- petently, and swiftly. The American woman's standard of housekeeping is the highest I -have seen (at close quarters) in any part Of the world-; comfort; cleanliness, light, food, and .waitath are .made matters of-thought, and she brings to her problems her fresh, eager mind: anxious to do the best for 'her fainily in every Way.- Her standard of warmth is 'a trifle high in some parts -of of America; I .itchnit; for my British lungs, but otherwise lier housekeeping; with its balanced meals, is delightful. Naturally, she has every mechanical contrivance to help her, but, however many buttons she has had installed in- her house, she has -to be there to push them in and out. Houses do not run :themselves, though the com- petent American woman sometimes -makes me think they do. Mcireover, these laboursavers are' costly, and When they are installed in small honses; those little houses belonging to professional men with fixed and unexpanding salaries, each of them has been . bought after years of saving. A good deal of " doing without could be written into the history of -every new comfort.
For the ordinary American is not rich, and I wish to say this very clearly.. Salary or income may- be larger than-that of his Opposite' in England, but --his' expenses are bigger and that is why, were he living in England, his wife could- have one servant,' possibly two of them. The wife, of the ordinary middle-class American cannot, then, in the nature of things, be spoiled. - Certainly her children are a help to her very soon. • That rather terrifying-young citizen With the-weird -garments, coatless and hatless, who, rushes past you on the side-walk on his scooter, defying the law and yelling at-the top -of his 'Voice,. has. Washed his own face and has brushed his hair since he was three years old. By the time he is seven years old he a. handy man in the house, with chores to do, which .he really does, Then; take the little girls- with wise mothers. (I .am not thinking 'of. the children of badly assorted--parents, who. have- miserable homes; and who spend- all- the time they have money for in the movie-talkies ; iri England- we know all about them;' just as we know about. the number of divorces Atherica. I am talking about the -children in well- .icljusted homes, with decent, happy parents; where there is a home life, and where there is a background. - Such homes exist -by the million, though to read the news- papers one might not think so.) At the- age when her little English cousin- is having her hands washed for- her, and her frock buttoned, Maimie is promoted—note the word—to- setting the table • and tidying away the odds and ends- after" theirs. JUst last week a little friend-of Mine, aged eight, whose mother was called to a sick-bed out of town, cooked and served dinner for herself and her professor father. Her father lifted the -pots from the. gas range to the table ; -honesty compels me to add that they dined• in the kitchen; and ate their steak stew and vegetables out of -the dish--it was cooked in But she served a three-emirse dinner and, hetween them they made coffee. . And that is why Ainerican women •.cici their house- keeping so deftly and with so little fuss. They have alwayi known how. They have grown up without servants, and- it has never occurred to them that -there- is 'anything derogatory—Or splendid -about housework- or Cooking. .EVerybbdy . does it. • • •'' :•- = 1 —. - When they are ill, they haVe to go to hospital; to get, the care that an ordinary Englisli*Oinan in the same station of life would get froni her servant- as a, matter 'of•eoutSe. or else theikluiVe to be ill ast heit•the.y can at home.- Neighbours are very .good and kind.. In fact, one of the surprising things about home illness in America to me at first was the .way .that friends cooked. and took in dainties to the sick. When we lived in England, if any of my friends had brought me. in a jug of . soup, and a sweetbread stewed in milk, my -feelings would have been mixed. The meal would, have been °flavoured too highly by My Lady ,Bountiful-for my palate. - But here, where a woman is dependent on her husband's cooking, or on her children's, she .is only too- glad of the custards and cream soups that her friends arrange among themselves to bring her at stated intervals. Besides, after a few days of a mother's illness, the husband and children have enough to do to get the meals for themselves, without cooking dainties for the sufferer. .- If anybody has ever seen an American woman of the professional classes ill at home, with nobody to change sheets, answer the telephone, give her -a cup of tea-- or the American equivalent—until the children come home, that person will never again- think of the bulk of American women as being spoiled.
The American woman, a well-dressed and gracious hostess, sitting. at a perfectly appointed table, dispensing delicious food to her friends, with apparently every- thing she wants, talking of her trips abroad, past and future, gives the visiting Englishman or woman a feeling that she really has too much, and she is therefore to a certain extent responsible for this misrepresentation., • Her overseas guests--especially English lecturers who only see the bright side of the picture--do not realize that she has cooked the meal herself, has set the table, and that the woman who waits so deftly is there at so much the hour, and that when the hostess excuses herself for a moment it is for the prosaic reason that she has gone to pay her, so as to let her go the moment the last fork is washed. And, of course, if she has a daughter big enough to wait, and one competent to dish up, there will be no outside help employed. The reason the . ordinary housekeeping American woman talks so much about the good time she has abroad is surely that she works so hard at home. .
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