SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 83

Report by Thea Holme

A prize of £5 was offered for an extract from a farewell address (after a presentation by grateful parishioners) by one of the follow- ing: Dr. Chasuble, the Vicar of Bray, the Vicar of Wakefield, the Reverend Henry Tilney, Archdeacon Grandy.

It was natural, perhaps, that this competition should have attracted a large proportion of clerical entrants ; while a certain authenticity may have resulted, the standard on the whole was dis- appointing. The Vicar of Bray proved to be by far the most popular—and also the most convincing—preacher. It was curious and perhaps deeply significant how often the reverend gentleman was presented with a weathercock, and interesting to notice how convincingly he succeeded in justifying his past behaviour: in fact, there was a marked tendency to whitewash this character.

A number of entrants chose to parody the song, the most success- ful being the Rev. C. H. Butler, whose first verse is worth quoting: "You give this token of farewell With touching protestation ; I therefore state that now I shall Withdraw my resignation, For ne'er will I desert my post Or flout your kind Intentions; I see which side is buttered most And scoff at clergy pensions.

And this is the law that 1'11 maintain Until my dying day, Sirs, So long as my flock's a source of gain

Still I'll be the Vicar of Bray, Sirs."

The Rev. N. S. Power is also amusing in verses describing the present-day tribulations of the worthy vicar. But on the whole verse was less successful than prose, and the first prize of £3 goes to Myddleton Haslam, whose entry seems to me to possess authenticity combined with humour.

Probably the most difficult subject, the Vicar of Wakefield, was attempted courageously by Roger Hobden and wittily by R. B. Browning, whose entry deserves a second prize of LI.

Henry Tilney was unsatisfactory. I feel certain that more could have been done with him, and he never came completely to life. Mrs. W. M. Mathieson and A. R. Watson both displayed some imagination, the latter being the more amusing, but lacking style. This defect was noticeable in practically every attempt at Canon Chasuble, who sadly lacked the diamond glitter and edge of his creator. It was disappointing how few cginpetitors succeeded in investing the Doctor's remarks with even a synthetic sparkle. Murray Shaw attempts style, but lacks taste, while the Rev. P. A.

Schofield is amusing but clumsy. The neatest attempt is by the Rev. A. Whigham Price, who is not ashamed to quote, and manages to introduce the Manna in the Wilderness more ingeniously than other entrants. He receives a prize of 11.

FIRST PRIZE

(MVDDLETON HASLAM) "Ye have given me a good gift on my Departure—even an Horloge made like unto our Church Steeple, with the Image of the Bird, bravely gilded, upon the topmost pinnacle—so cunningly fashioned that the Cock croweth thrice as each Hour strikes ; so shall I be reminded of the Hours whereof I must give Account. And herein lieth a parable ; for the weather- cock obeyeth the Winds yet keepeth ever his gold ; and the Wind bloweth where it listeth, yet the Wise find ever a sheltered corner.

Likewise the Rulers of a Land are appointed as the Sun and Moon to give light to the folk thereof ; yet as there is one glory of the Sun and another of the Moon, so is there one glory of the Whigs and another of the Tories, and each has his own Season: the Sun stands not still, and the Moon knoweth her changes ; yet we chide them not for inconstancy, since Providence ordereth their goings. The wise man taketh not a Lantern when the Sun is high, nor doth his wife lie out in the Moonlight scantily apparel'd, to rejoice in the Heat thereof ; for there be Times and Seasons for all things, whether to abide or to remove hence. When the Sea was divided that the Jews might 'escape,the Sword of Pharaoh, was there any that said, 'Nay, Pharaoh has been long our King; I would rather eat of the Fleshpots of Egypt than of the Sand which is in the Desert ; I will abide here the coming of the Egyptians 7 Would not such an one have been righteously devoured by the returning Waves of that Sea ? Are not these things written for our instruction, even in the Policies of this World 7 ..."

SECOND PRIZES , (R. B. BROWNING)

THE VICAR OF WAKEFIELD RECEIVES A MOTOR ATTACHMENT FOR HIS CYCLE.

"... This generous gift touches me to the heart and will, God willing, spare my legs in the execution of their duty as I yisit the sick and needy in my new parish. There, the miles are long and the roads incline at angles that only Nature in her bounteousness could provide. The parish is but a fragment of the County, and is sparsely peopled by those to whom wealth is a stranger ; they are as scattered as the islands in the ocean.

Thus with the aid of this machine, I shall cover ground at thrice the speed which I achieve in plying my legs to the pedals with all my energies. This will enable me to husband my strength for ministering and for the word of our Lord and Master. My wife has assented to the use of this means of locomotion, and this gives me pleasure, for she is no lover of those who speed, hurtling through the countryside like a swarm of bees. I shall, of necessity, disturb the rural scene, but if it is the divine Will for man to invent machines, then, too, it must be His wish that man shall use the inventions. That this appliance is used in His work. . . ."

(REV. A. WHIGHAM PRICE) . . I am indeed overwhelmed by the munificence of your liberality in pressing upon me this remarkably fine pair of prismatic binocular: with these in my cherished possession, I shall henceforth be singularly well equipped for continuing, in my new sphere, my earnest study . of wilde.life. In adding this handsome present to your many past kind- nesses, you have indeed piled Pelion upon Ossa—if I might be permitted a classical allusion, drawn from the pagan authors. As I seek to find words with which to express my gratification, I feel I cannot do better than draw your attention to a remarkable parallel which exists between this occasion and a certain incident in the Sacred Scriptures—I refer, of course, to that moving description of the gift of manna which we read in the Book of Exodus. As I pass from my beloved Wootton, in which I found not only a sphere of ministry but also a dear wife, and go, as it were, into the wilderness, I shall indeed be sustained by this beauti- ful and unexpected token of your prevenient care. I recall once remarking to Mr. Worthing that what seems to us to be bitter trials are often blessings in disguise: who knows whether this sad occasion of parting may not ultimately be comprehended under the same heading ? [cries of 'Hear, hear 1. It is as we move into the wilderness that the manna falls. .Secondly, Exodus .reminds us. . . ."