5 OCTOBER 1991, Page 16

Unlettered

A reader saw this notice in a hotel bedroom:

RAMADA® HOTEL WIEN ENGLISH Splendid, to have you as a guest. A warm welcome.

The RAMADA HOTEL VIENNA, in the name of the staff anytime exerting on you, wishes you a pleasant and relaxing stay.

It is in our interest that you feel homey and cosy at our property. However it seems unavoidable to us making an appeal to your understanding and assist- ance shortly after your arrival. Unfortu- nately every stay does lead to a depar- ture and therefore we would kindly ask you to pay your best possible attention to the following points: — The room you are staying in must be released at 12.00 noon the latest on your departure day.

Your prompt observance to this time would be very much appreciated.

— If necessary we also could offer the so called 'late check-out' until 17.00 depending on disposal. In case of a 'late check-out' the reception has to be in- formed the day before departure and has to agree.

— In case you fail to meet the 12.00 check out time, we consider it as un- avoidable that we would have to deposit your luggage at the reception until your definite departure.

We suppose that you agree, upsetting the new guest shouldn't be in our all interest. Furthermore please be aware of the fact that the hotel will charge the daily rate to your account.

Laundry: Finally we would like to inform you that your laundry which you would like to be cleaned has to be put in the bag meant for. Our housekeeping staff will only collect the bag if it is deposited on the indoor handle of your room.

The collection of your Laundry is based on your order at the reception until 9.00 in the morning the latest.

We rely on your understanding in the sence of the new arriving guest The Management.

If you have an example of a crass, illiterate, ignorant, irrelevant or embar- rassing letter or notice from a company or public body, send the original to Unlettered, The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL; £10 for each one printed.