6 NOVEMBER 1982, Page 34

High life

Title role

Taki

Unlike the good Marx, Groueh°' who never forgot a face except when he wished to make an exception, I ata capable of remembering people's facensi Even when they are as well known as that - Ms Farrah Fawcett-Majors, the toothsoln.e amazon who is to acting what the rita_11„c le is to safety at sea. This weakness of fin, caused me to miss breaking one of the Wa. niest scoops in years. The story 113,,, everything a French bedroom farce coon' hope for, and more, much more. When It was about three months ago w"-- „ had a brief stopover in the South of Frall-„- while on my way to Greece. 1 had to sIg'; some papers in our office in Monaco s0„ hired a car and drove to Las Vegas sur Inc; planning to leave as soon as my work Was Hotel finished. While walking around the de Paris I ran into a very old friend of rtlInt:e. Well, he used to be a friend. As soon as as laid eyes on me he made it obvious he,,w 0 as happy to see me as, say, you-knowr,:°0 is whenever she reads about her past film is achievements.flerlte mheemwbaes b

r that g p

a t the tan.e ossessi.s:: and rather insecure. In fact I think I told lai" something to that effect because the atnai°11e' at his side, cringed the way the Pnpriacti Regent's courtiers must have when Brummel asked that infamous cluesti%), Now, however, all is forgiven. I realise w d my old friend acted the way he did. Med why the amazon thought I had altar /ese-majeste. Everything became c Foe when I recently read in a Greek Magafor. about Ms Farrah Fawcett-Majers'skie tunate with my old friend B rir was Arkie I have known ever since he „t born. As a matter of fact I was a witness his parents' wedding and attended his bag, tism. Arkie's mother, Florence Smith, was English-born, while his fatil5_, Pascal Busson, was one of the best-loolo; Frenchmen of my generation. Fads I fought very bravely in Algeria, art,/ as remember giving a goodbye party as

Harcou

a welcome home party for him. Pascal was an officer who saw a lot of action in clean- ing out the Casbah. By the time the war was over word had got out that Captain Busson was not known for the amount of prisoners he had taken. Some effete trendies of the time held that against him. I loved him for hn. When Arkie was growing up, Pascal and took the kid skiing, and I tried to teach un how to defend himself. Once, during a Particularly tough session, I got a bit rough him. He didn't complain but soon afterwards I found that lots of my stuff was rhulissing. Like half my clothes. I suspected the gYPsy butler until a gendarme came .to "e flat where I was living at the time, in- quired if I was feeling all right, and then asked me if a large bundle of clothes longed to me. They did. Years later, in Gstaad, Arkie wanted to smoke and I stopped him. After all he was 9111Y 11. The next day I found my skis miss- I,ng. And my boots. I began to put two and `hwo. together. When all my kit turned up, aving been discovered on the railway tracks, 1 was sure who the culprit was. when 1 accused Arkie he smiled and denied everything. Soon after that, however, I „stopped picking on him and he was a two- Pack-a-day man by the age of 12. This year Arkie became 19 years of age. Llis Parents, unfortunately, are divorced Arkie has not allowed that to cramp Ins style. For the moment all he cares about is girls. Last summer, while cruising the beach in Monte Carlo, he spotted FF-M. Know- PeHollywood is impressed by Euro- n titles he had a waiter page him as 'His p°Yal Highness Prince Urbano Barberme. Aarrah' in t rkie her infinite dumbness, fell for it. Played Hollywood's idea of a prince tne hilt. He bowed, kissed hands, in- olifited waiters, broke glasses and plates, all which enchanted the Hollywood star l':°ugh for her to forget Ryan O'Neal, the i:shrnan who doubles as an actor no when he t beating up paparazzi. When Arkie 21c1 Farrah got bored with Monte they ..'"oed to Paris. Arkie, who is kept on a tverY tight financial leash by his mother, Aotni,k an enormous suite at the Plaza a,.;,.,"enee signed the bills for everything, inade occasional sorties to nightclubs "'eh were patrolled by paparazzi. After an idyllic three days Farrah left for t °I1Ywood. The airport pictures show her Ark brokehearted at leaving the `prince'. 'rkie has an satanic smile. „One week after the tender goodbye, the iiroverbial shit hit the fan. A certain noble paberini family from Italy wrote to the newspapers complaining that Ms cornered escort was a phoney. Arkie was b;rnered at a nightclub surrounded by a vY of beauties, and when pressed for an answer he threw a tantrum and attacked the aeks. Farrah is alleged to have broken up with uP 'Van, while Arkie's mother has picked the hotel tab. No one's come off the characters After all, from now on Hollywood q"aracters will study the Almanach de etha more carefully and a little knowledge ever hurt anyone. Not even in California.