THE OLD VICAR 'The ole Vicar was a fine chap.
Been in the Army an' knew 'ow to 'andle 'imself. When'e come first I was up at the Vicarage doin' a job an' saw some cups 'e'd won. "Been a bit of a runner, Vicar?" I asked. "I ran when it was seemly to run," he said, "and stayed and took punishment when I had to." Them cups was for boxin'. The lads took to 'im when they 'eard about it. He never lifted 'is 'and to man nor boy in the village, but once 'e 'ad a bit of a joke with Bill Jones, who was goin' to join the police. "Can you fight, Bill?" 'e said. "You'll have to be able to look after yourself in the police." "I can fight a bit, Vicar," Bill said. "Well, let me see. Hit me," says Vicar. Ole Bill hesitates, worried like. "Go on Bill!" says Vicar. Bill draws back an' lets fly, but of course he never 'it Vicar, who just leans back an' poor ole Bill goes flyin' across the study an' falls in a corner. Vicar laughs an' says, "It says in this letter that the candidate should be of sober habits, Bill. I hope I can say that about you?" Bill rubs 'is 'ead an' looks baffled. "You know I never touch it, Vicar," 'e says, but 'e told me after 'e just didn't know 'ow he fell where 'e did or 'ow anybody the Vicar's age could move so fast!'
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