HUMOURS OF THE STREET.
(TO THE EDITOR OP THE 'SPECTATOR."]
Sin,—Daily in the London streets there must pass a vast amount of unrecorded humour. Also unappreciated humour, for some, alas! "ain't got no sense o' humour," as the omnibus conductor said when he dangled a bit of string in the face of a man whose father had been hanged, and felt that his delicate allusion had not been received in the spirit he intended. There is also the unconscious humour suggested by the announcement over a small Pimlico registry office early in the South African War, "Hundreds of Generals wanted at once, for all parts of the country," and opposite, over a still smaller general supply shop, "Thousands of wild rabbits arriving hourly." The terse diction, too, of the "man in the street" often unconsciously strikes the right nail on the head. Passing up by Hyde Park Corner in the days gone by, and seeing a large crowd, I inquired of a bystander if it was her most Gracious Majesty that was expected, commenting on the numbers, and the man said simply : "Yes ; she do fetch 'em out." Perhaps, however, the Scotch mother who reproved her child for shuffling her feet in the 'bus, and angrily asked her what she did it for, received the most briefly simple answer : "Because it's agreeable." A 'bus is a fertile field of humour, and one comes across true touches of human nature,—the good woman whom I heard sigh when asked for 2d., and say sadly it was never her "luck to get a pen'orth o"bus," and the cheery one who leant heavily on my knee on her way to ask the conductor if it was "the end of the penny treat." Next came a jovial old farmer with a red face and turned-down collar, who looked out of the window at a brilliantly arrayed young woman in fluttering rose-pink trying to cope with the April breezes, and muttered to his friend : "Aye, she would do fine to keep the birds off my peas." Sometimes it is as well not to discuss things too fully in the general company of a "public conveyance," but to adopt the time-honoured advice of the conductor and "behave as such." Not long ago some one was heard saying loudly : "No; they did not like Ireland ; too damp, too cold, and too many Roman Catholics." A lady opposite struck in with the suggestion that they might be happier in a place where it was "not damp, not cold, and no Roman Catholics." Then the lady got out. It is well also to avoid discussion of private affairs, as two angular ladies, recounting at great length how a certain Sir Henry (with great repetition of the name) had most inconsiderately put off their visit, found to their cost when they laid themselves open to the remark of the workman, as he pushed past them to the door : "Well, I 'spec's Sir 'Enery knew 'is own mind." The omnibus driver has still a fine contempt for the noisy motor, and one looking down from his elevated position inquired of a buzzing-motor driver at his side : "Made any 'oney yet ? "—I am, Sir, &c.,
MELESINA. SETON CHRISTOPHER.
Previous page
