8 NOVEMBER 2008, Page 79

Q. Although it is credit-crunch time for so many people,

it is not the case for me. I have no money worries and do not foresee any. My problem is that when I invite friends to stay for the weekend they still feel they must come loaded with chocolates and champagne and new books and things which I know for a fact they can no longer afford. How can I discourage them from bringing presents without seeming patronising or as though I am crowing about my own good fortune?

Name and address withheld A. I have done some research into your circumstances and see that you live in sprawling acres. Why not commandeer one of your garden pavilions for conversion into a grotto? This would require hundreds of fragments of different patterned china to be wedged tastefully into its walls so that when inviting friends to stay you can beg them to bring any bits of broken china they have lying around. Say, ‘It’s the one thing I am desperate for!’ All households have broken china which they will never get around to mending. It will still feel like a gift, because they are giving something they would have preferred to keep for themselves while gaining the satisfaction of contributing towards a permanent artwork.