10 FEBRUARY 2001, page 63

Not All Plain Sailing

Simon Barnes ANTHONY Powell, interested in people who choose to attack life by playing some kind of role, divided them into two groups: those who bring off their chosen parts......

Q. Might I Suggest An Alternative Rejoinder To That...

to your correspondent N.A. (Your problems solved, 3 February) when asked at a funeral, 'What on earth are you doing here?' When confronted myself with the same impertinent query......

Q. Recently, While On Holiday In Foreign Parts, I Was

'taken short' and had, perforce, to seek the sanctuary of a public lavatory. Imagine my dismay, Mary, when entering the premises. I was confronted by cubicles screened only by......

A. Thank You For This Tip.

......

A. You Could Have Eliminated All These Anxieties In One

fell swoop simply by mounting the alien lavatory in either side-saddle or rodeo formation with your back to the 'door'. As anyone who has been on safari would attest, the......

A. Give Your Daughter A Short, Sharp Shock By Staging

an ambush. Target three or four of your adult friends with whom she is not particularly well acquainted and equip them with Balaclavas or perhaps Tony Blair masks, widely......