16 OCTOBER 1982, page 34

Low Life

Watertight Jeffrey Bernard I t had never occurred to me until last Sun- day that I might have anything in com- mon with a 450-year-old battleship. And why should it? But I......

No. 1237: The Winners

Jaspistos reports: Competitors were asked for part of an election speech by Mr Tar- quin Fintimlinbinwhainbimlim Bus Stop- F'Tang-F'Tang-Ole Biscuit Barrel, the re- cent......

Competition

No. 1240: RIP Set by Jaspistos: You are invited to com- pose an epitaph (maximum 8 lines) on some- one who had a peculiarly modern (post- war) sort of occupation — e.g. disc......