Radio
Right royal celebration
Michael Vestey
When I opened an envelope containing a gilt-edged invitation to a party hosted by Prince Charles at St James's Palace to celebrate 50 years of Radio Four's The Archers, I immediately thought it was an elaborate hoax. As I examined it closely I wondered who would go to such trouble to print a bogus card with details of which entrance to use and the need to arrive promptly at six in the evening.
But, no, it was genuine. Prince Charles is indeed an admirer of the series as is Camilla. In fact, as the Prince informed the gathering in a witty speech, he is a Radio Four addict. He was also sombre about foot-andmouth disease and the tragic consequences for many farmers and workers affected by the outbreak. He praised The Archers producers for the swift way they reflected the crisis in the episodes and I must say they
were pretty quick this time. In the past they've been slow to react to the Countryside Marches almost as if they couldn't bear to mention them.
The party overran because the Prince was so delighted to meet the cast, and it was surprising to see such a variety of wellknown people who follow the programme: John and Norma Major, David Blunkett, Terry Wogan, Stephen Fry, Cilia Black, Joanna Trollope, Ned Sherrin and others. A cleric who advises The Archers on religious matters was telling me amiably of the guidance he'd given over the flirtation between the Ambridge vicar Janet Fisher and the village doctor Tim, when he suddenly spotted the former Home Secretary Michael Howard and his wife Sandra nearby. His eyes narrowed, his voice hardened. 'I didn't think I'd ever be close to the worst Home Secretary we've ever had,' he said. I very nearly grabbed Howard's elbow and said, 'He thinks you're the worst Home Secretary we've ever had. I think you're the best. Discuss.' But I fear politeness overcame me and I merely nodded.
Towards the end of the party three actors from the successful Radio Four comedy show Dead Ringers performed The Archers send-up broadcast on 1 January. Jan Ravens mimicked Ruth Archer's Geordie 'Ooh noa' and Felicity Finch who plays her added her own version from the floor. Charles laughed throughout when Jon Culshaw did his rather good Prince of Wales imitation and told the party that he hesitated to speak to them in case it enabled Culshaw to perfect his technique even more. It was one of those very English evenings which puts you in a warm frame of mind.
Timothy Bentinck, who plays David Archer, appeared on Broadcasting House on Radio Four last Sunday diplomatically steering a course between a writer, Robert Elms, attacking country dwellers and Clive Aslet, editor of Country Life, defending them. The programme discussed the divide between town and country which it decided was increasing. It has certainly accelerated under this government which hates those who don't vote New Labour as most country folk don't. As I listened to Elms savaging everything about the countryside, I began to think he must be the most stupid man I had ever heard on the radio and the competition has been fierce.
Elms rejoiced in living in London which he called 'a multicultural, cosmopolitan, dynamic, exciting, tolerant, forward-looking' city 'free of mud and red-faced men who turn cows into cannibals'. He went on, 'Every time I venture into the supposed rural idyll I end up in some bad-taste little England, the land where everybody looks and eats and thinks and whinges the same.' A tractor show was the height of culture and everything people eat, he added, is served in a basket and accompanied by frozen chips.
Leaving aside the thought that he must have some very tacky friends outside London, it was the ignorance that lies behind such prejudice that struck me. Disturbingly, he also displayed signs of that smug urban triumphalism we've seen since the Blair government came in, saying pompously to farmers, 'We give you one job to do and you give us mad cow disease, E-coli, salmonella and now foot and mouth.' Aslet wondered why city people were so intolerant of country people, pointing out that far from complaining while driving about in Range Rovers, the average income for a farmer last year was only £5,000, which means that some earn less. Bentinck believed it absurd to blame the whole of the farming community for natural plagues that arise from time to time.
Still, if nothing else, Elms provided an insight into what people of the metropolitan Left really think about the countryside so we who live there know what to expect. We're very happy to leave Elms to his 'exciting, cosmopolitan, tolerant' Rolex gangs, car thieves, car bombs, Tube strikes, sink schools and the truly 'dynamic' Millennium Dome.
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