Q. Some friends of mine have just bought a grand
Georgian pile in Gloucestershire. One has a keen desire to have some peacocks strutting the grounds; the other has been warned by a county hand that peacocks are irredeemably non-U, and that the first shriek from the lawns would herald social death. From the safe distance of Fulham, I think that peacocks would be dandy, but, having no wish to become pariahs, my friends are more cautious, Can you advise, Mary, please?
RC., London SW6
A. Peacocks enjoy a unique status in the world of snobbery in that while being 'U', they still spell social death. Neighbours are driven to despair by the squawking, and guests are terrified by their aggression and intrusion into the house through any open door. They are also revolted by the peacocks' mess on their footwear, and kept awake at night by the Hitchcockian screams. However, in these days when the effects of globalisation encompass social life, some people find that they now have too many friends able and willing to manifest themselves in person at any time from any part of the world. Peacocks are one way of keeping this tide of immigrants at bay. You say that your friends have no wish to become pariahs, but, since the peacocks will be disposed of quite quickly by both foxes and the covert action of maddened neighbours, they are in some respects self-regulating.
Previous page
