ANTICIPATED MEETING OF THE BRITISH ASSOCIATION IN TILE YEAR 2836.

[Prom the Morning Chronicle.]

After some observations, from Dr. 31,Geig,

On that fossile reliquium, called Petrified Wig Or Pertarpolith 05,—a specimen rare Of those wigs, mole for antediluvian wear,

Which, it seems, stood tire Flood without turning a hair,—

Mr. 'fond:ins rose up, amid requested attention

To facts no less wondrous which he had to mention.

Some large fossile creatures had lately been found, Of a species, no longer now seen above ground, But the same (as to T(iinkins most clearly appears) With those animals, lost now for hundreds of years, Whieli our ancestors used to call " Bishops" and " Peers," But which T kins more erudite names has bestowed on, Ilavieg called the Peer fossil tie' Aristocratodon,* And, finding much food under t'other one's thorax, has chi istered that creature th Episcopus Vorax.

Lest time soratiles and dandies should think this all fable, Mr. Teinkins ino4 kindly produced, on the table, A sztniple of each of these species of creatures, Both torrably human, in structure and features, Except that tie Episcopua seems, Lord deliver us! Wye been carnivorous as well as granivorous; 'And Tonikins. on searching its stomach, found theme Lange lumps, such as no modern btotnach could hear, Of a sulestanee called Tithe, upon which, as 'tis said, The whole genus Clerieum formerly fed ; And which having lately, himself, decompounded, Just to see what 'twos made of, he actually found it Composed of all possible cookable things That e'er tripped upon trotters or soar'd upon wings,— All products of earth, both gramineoue, herbaceous, }horde.ceous, &bar-eons, and eke farinaceous, All clubbing their quotas to glut the cesophagus Of this ever greedy and g■ asping Tithophagusd- " Admire," exclaimed Tomkins, the-kind dispensation By PI ovidence shed on this much favoured nation,

In sweeping so ravenous a race from the earth, That :night else have occasioned a general dearth,—

And thus burying 'em deep as ev'n Joe Hume would sink'em,

With the Ichtliyosaurus anti Paleeorynchum,

And other queer ei -decant things, under ground,—

Not forgetting that fossilized youth,f so renowned, Who lived just to witness the Deluge,— was gratified

Much by the sight, and has since been found strated!"

This picturesque touch—quite in Tonikins's way— Called forth from the ;meanies a geneial hurra; While inquiries among them went rapidly round, As to where this young stratified man could be found.

The "learned Theban'e " discourse next as livelily flowed on,

To sketch ember wonder, th' istocrattalon,—

An a al, differing from most human creatures Not so much in its apeech, inward structure, or features,. As in having a certain excrescence, T. said, Which, in form of a coronet, grew from his head. And devolv'el to its heirs when the creature was dead; Nor mattered it, while their heir-loom was transmitted, How uufit were the heads, so the coronet fitted.

He then mentioned a strange zoological fact, Whose announcement appeared leech applause to attract. In France, s, id the learned Professor, this race

Had so noximis heroine, in some centuries' space,

From their numbers and strength, that the larel was o'errun with 'e

And every one's question was " What's to be done with 'ern ?"

When lo ! certain knowing- mica,— sacans, mayhap, Whim,, like Buckland's deep followers, understand trap, § Slyly hinted that nothing on.eartli was so good For Aristecratielorts, wilen rampant and rude,

As to stop. or curtail, their allowance of food.

This expedient was tried, and a proof it affords;

Of iii' effect that short Commons will have upon Lords. For this whole nice of bipeds, one fine summer's morn,

Shed their coronets, just as a deer sheds his horn ;

And the moment these gewgaws fell off, they became Quite a new sort of creature,—so harmless and tame, That zoologists might, for the first time, maintain 'ern To be near akin to the genus huntanum ; And th' experiment, tried so successfully then,

Should be kept in remembrance, when wanted again. • •

• A term formed on the into let of the Mastodon, &e.

The Zoological term for a Tithe-eater.

t The man (bond by Sclaruelizer, and sopposed hy him to hare witnessed the Deluge (" homodilutni testis"), but who turned out. I am suay to say, to be merely a gnat lizard. Particularly the formation called Transition Trap.