Rendering Proust
Sir: Reviewing Terence Kilmartin's revision of Remembrance of Things Past (28 March) A.N. Wilson disparages the translation of `Zut, zut, zut!' (Pleiade 1, 155) — the shout of a boy waving his umbrella about in a passion.of enthusiasm when the sun makes a splendour of a rainy autumn day — as 'Gosh! gosh! goshr, instead of Scott Moncrieffs 'Damn, damn, damn!' Proust, however, stresses the inadequacy of the exclamation, as well as the lack 'of emotional connection between the exuberant boy and a surly passer-by, who narrowly escapes physical connection with the umbrella! In this context, the 'damns' of the earlier version seem more appropriate to the passer-by than to the awkward elation of the boy. The new rendering of the dramatic announcement: 'Bouleversement de toute ma personne' (II, 755) as 'Disruption of my entire being' is described as 'Translator's English'. I don't see why. On the other hand, 'complete physical collapse', cited as the 'perfectly good rendering in the old version', is certainly good English, but it is not true to the French. It does precede a passage concerned with physical distress, but only to provide the circumstance for the event which brings about the more total 'disruption' — the sudden and vivid realisation of the grandmother's death.
On the question of why the Marquise's 'haricots verts' have become mere 'vegetables' in the Venetian hotel, would 'laboriously cut up her French beans' be an improvement? Better, I should have thought, a Translator's licence for Mr Kilmartin than an Importer's licence for the Marquise!
Valerie Minogue 15 Harbledown Road, London SW6
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