High life
Bad blood
Taki
New York Jimmy Breslin is a rather fat, bellicose man who writes a column for the New York Daily News. He lives in Queen's and is a self-proclaimed expert on the Irish problem. Every so often, when the muse does not visit him, Breslin writes about the dastardly English and their occupation of Northern Ireland. This makes Breslin a very popular man around the bars of New York, most of which are run by Irishmen whose heart naturally belongs to Ireland, but whose brains always get rejected by those higher institutions of learning that collect such matter for further study.
The Irish who own these bars are not a bad bunch. They are hard-working, Godfearing family men, whose only weakness is that they read people like Breslin and Hamill. The latter is more bellicose than Breslin and tends to write about the IRA whenever he can't think of anything more constructive to write about. (Hamill only writes about the IRA.) Hamill too, is revered by Irish saloon keepers, although he doesn't hang around such places any more. He has 'gone uptown' consorting with people like Shirley Maclaine and Jackie K.O.
Quite recently Breslin and Hamill fell out because Hamill's editor got tired of reading about how good and brave the IRA were, and fired him. Hamill expected Breslin to stop writing until he got his job back, but Breslin refused, so now they wave at each other from afar. The only thing that keeps them from brawling is their common hatred for the British in Northern Ireland, and the Americans who run the country in Washington.
As if this fraternal dispute was not enough, Breslin last week picked yet another quarrel, with yet another Irishman, Hugh Carey. Carey is the Governor of the great state of New York, and Breslin doesn't approve of the Governor's high life, if one can excuse the pun. It seems that Carey spends all his time flying around the country to find girls — according to Breslin. The Governor has been dubbed 'Society Carey' by Breslin. And the hours he has flown at the taxpayer's expense in helicopters and private jets have all been assiduously reported by Breslin in the gutter press. Breslin says that Carey uses the chopper and the jet in order to impress girls. Carey says that Breslin is beneath contempt and he refuses to speak to any journalists who work for the same paper as Breslin.
Governor Carey's first exposure to high life came about when his first wife died of cancer in 1974, and he was left with 12 children. He looked around and he found Anne Ford, the middle-aged daughter of Henry Ford. Anne and Hugh went everY" where together, and Anne more often than not took her septuagenarian sister Charlotte with her; Charlotte took her growa up children too, and so on. One day Breslin looked up at the sky and it was full of flYillg machines ferrying the Fords and the CareYs to various sun spots. The scandal of the flying Fords at the taxpayer's expense "Id' the front pages. There has been bad WI/ between Carey and Breslin ever since' , One day Anne refused the Governor s proposal of marriage. He got on his plaAlle and flew around until he found . • a.La"? by the name of Evangeline Gouletas. an honest-to-goodness Greek, a millionaldre to boot. Hugh proposed, and she acceP.te Newspaper reports and a Congressio i na nvestigation have recently charged Gouletas family with harassment, coefela.1: and windfall profits in connection wIcit': properties which they manage. The vi,•e na. ding is about to take place and the invest:, tion goes on. But I am willing to bet t",e " nothing will be proved. Greeks, unlike. t", Watergate bunch, leave no traces behind
Previous page
