TURD WORLD
English football fans have a shock in store when they visit South Korea
next year says kin Overton
Seoul IN just over eight months' time, South Korea is to co-host with Japan the 2002 World Cup. It is the first World Cup to be held in Asia, and the first to be shared between two countries.
Most of us think we know a bit about Japan, but we know zilch about Korea, except that there was once a war there and that in the 19th century it was known as the 'Hermit Kingdom' because it closed its borders to foreigners. The borders are open today, in the south at least, but most visitors are businessmen. Tourists tend to give the place a miss. According to Lonely Planet, it is 'one of the unexplored gems of Asia-. Gem might not be the first word that springs to mind when thinking about South Korea, but the place is a lot more interesting, not to say disgusting, than you might have imagined.
Football fans will certainly get a culture shock when they step off the plane in Seoul next year. Do you know anyone who speaks Korean? No. But the language barrier will just be the start of it. Wait until you have to eat. It is infuriatingly hard to get a simple dish such as meat, veg and potatoes. Instead the visitor has to contend with delicacies such as kimchi. This is a potent concoction of grated vegetables matured with a blend of garlic, chili and ginger. It is served as a side dish with every meal, and is very much an acquired taste. The prospect of eating raw garlic and ginger cabbage for breakfast is unlikely to appeal to England fans. Nor are they likely to smack their chops over four season soup. This dish has angered many an animal-lover, mainly because its prime ingredient is dog. And despite PR efforts by South Korea to suggest otherwise, it is a dish that is still readily available in Seoul's back streets. Live squid is also popular, and is simple to prepare. The squid is fished out of the tank in which it has been merrily swimming, then popped straight into the mouth. It's supposed to be a healthy meal, but flailing tentacles are not to everyone's taste and most Westerners tend to gag when the squid goes through its death spasms and starts shooting ink down their throats.
Such rich fare will sooner or later lead the England fan to the traditional Asian squat toilet, and perhaps after that to the 'Shit Museum', which is located in the improbably kitsch 'Seoul Land Amusement Park'. This museum is devoted to what's what in the world of Asian bowel movements. Visitors make their exit through a giant 12-foot replica stool.
Not surprisingly, drinking is a major passion of the Koreans. There are few countries in which you see quite so many men hugging lamp-posts before breakfast. The carousing fan wishing to tackle the capital's streets at night will no doubt head for Sulan, the soul of Seoul's nightlife. Sulan is like a scene from Ridley Scott's Blade Runner, a district of glittering neon and high-rise fun palaces. Some of the fun is pretty black. The Fourth Reich Café, for example, is a theme bar that pays homage to Hitler and advertises itself with a Nazi eagle emblem. Its waiters dress in the uniforms of the Waffen SS, its owner sits at the bar wearing a brown shirt, and the walls are covered with pictures of the Fiihrer, Himmler, Luftwaffe fighter aces, and, incongruously, adverts for Johnny Walker Black Label. The owner. Mr Kim (more than 20 per cent of the population uses the surname Kim), maintains that the Fourth Reich's theme is simply a fashion statement. Then there is Uncle Tom's Cabin, a bar inspired by Harriet Beecher Stowe's novel. The bar staff are got up as black slaves, on the walls are pictures of golliwogs and slave-trade prints.
The Korean National Tourist Board in London acknowledges that these bars overstep the boundaries of good taste. Its spokesman, Nigel Lloyd, says, 'Nationalist feeling is very, very strong there, which may lead to cultural insensitivities. They don't bow easily to international pressure about what is politically and culturally insensitive.'
So it comes as a bit of a shock to find that South Koreans are themselves quick to take offence. Blowing your nose in public is thought to be disgusting, and so is removing your shirt in public. Take care, therefore, England fans. And be warned, or advised, that the barbershop poles that abound in the city centres are not signs for old-fashioned hair salons, but signal brothel entrances. Traditionally, such places were advertised as Turkish baths, but legend has it that the Turkish embassy protested, and the barbershop front was adopted instead. History does not recall how Korean hairdressers felt about this.
The final aspect of Korean life that might make a trip to the World Cup more of a challenge than expected is the weather. Last July flash floods swept through the country and 30 lives were lost. Bearing in mind that the matches are due to be held in June, this sounds ominous. The advice given by Nigel Lloyd is for fans to be prepared for it to be 'hot, steamy and wet'.
If you still want to give South Korea a whirl, then by all means book your ticket. That is, if you can afford it, BA is selling flights to Seoul, via Hong Kong, for just over £1,260. And if you hope to see the Cup Final in Japan as well, then a further flight from Seoul to Tokyo costs 1488 with JAL. This, combined with the high cost of living in South Korea, looks set to make it the most expensive World Cup ever for fans.
It is a high price to pay just to watch a game. But, then again, if Bill Shankly's saying that football is more serious a matter than life and death is true, fans will agree with Fifa's media officer, Andreas Herren, when he says, 'Of course it is going to be expensive, but on the other hand it is the World Cup.'
lain Overton is a freelance television producer. He has been in Seoul working on a travel series for Bravo Television.
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