The Partridge and the Fowler

Competitors were asked to cite irritating misusages of English words or phrases.

EVIDENTLY one half of the world does not like the way the other half speaks. Perhaps we need an Academy to say the last word -though apparently the Academie Fran- gaise is almost as far as ever from its last word. In English there is no sanction but usage, and the best of dictionaries can do no more than record a majority view. What, then, is misusage? It cannot consist merely in differing from the majority, for that would exclude dialect (which has its own rights) and 'received' or 'standard' English (which is the usage of a minority, though that minority is the majority of educated people). It is not necessarily slang (often a crude form of poetry), cliché (more often than not merely over-usage) or even journalese.

'It is not even a question of taste. English is embarrassingly rich in synonyms and near-synonyms, so that almost any con- cept can be expressed in two or more different ways, each of which is semantically correct. Hence the (peculiarly English) phenomenon of U and non-U speech.

Perhaps, after all, Humpty-Dumpty was right. Borrowing for a moment his cravat, and balancing uneasily on his wall, let me stick my neck out-which is more than he could do. However irritating other people's usages may be, absolute and culpable mis- usage is the employment of a word or phrase that has an accepted definite mean- ing to denote something else when there is no excuse for doing so. And what is the accepted meaning? Why, Sir, that which is hallowed by usage. And usage, for the pur- poses of this competition, has been verified by Chambers's-not, I quite agree, with Mrs. A. V. Patterson, Chamber's-Twen- tieth Century Dictionary.

After which circular argument, let me- thank you, Mrs. Margot Crosse, for such a neat return of my opening service-`give the presents for the puzzles in your book.'

First come three complete sets of five:

H. A. C. Evans (two guineas), A. I. Macdonald (one and a half guineas) and M. E. de R. Epps (one guinea-it would have been more if 'positively' in the fifth example had been 'literally'). Then comes a list of misusages with the names of those who submitted them. Competitors scoring three each receive half a guinea. Their names are marked with an asterisk the first time they appear.

PRIZES

(H. A. C. EVANS)

1. Most unique.

2. Protagonist (for 'champion').

3. Adopted (for 'adapted').

4. Lay down, a nice lay down (for 'lie').

5. Transpire (for 'happen').

(A. I. MACDONALD)

I. A Captain (RN) being congratulated on having a 'nice boat.'

2. A doctor being asked about the outcome of his 'wage-claim.'

3. Sir Thomas Beecham being praised on the performance of his 'band.'

4. A barrister being asked about the policy of his 'union.'

5. An undergraduate (living at home) being asked if he has done his 'prep' for the next day.

(M. E. DE R. EPPS)

1. 'My dear, after the party my room was an absolute shambles.'

2. 'I've an alibi to excuse my lateness.'

3. We have three alternatives.

4. This is a most unique situation.

5. It positively makes my blood boil.

SELECTED MISUSAGES t,

Aggravate for annoy. J. AITKEN.

Band for orchestra. count. TAYLOR.

Boat for ship, J. COMYN, V. LANGTON.

Chronic for serious, severe. *Nts. I. M. coNNott, *R. KENNARD DAVIS, J. D. K. LLOYD.

Disinterested for uninterested. APRIL,

ALLAN M. LAING, W. LASLETT.

Fruition for completion. A. P. KIRKPATRI Holiday for university vacation. count. TAYL

MRS. I. M. CONN

Hung for hanged (of a criminal). *EDGAR CAT) Infer for imply. A. P. KIRKPATRI Kilts for the kilt. FINDLAY P. MURDO Less for fewer. 3. AITKEN, EDGAR CAT Literally (to add emphasis). R. KENNARD DAN

WILLIAM PAYNT

Mental for unbalanced, insane.

R. KENNARD DAN

Mutual for common. APRIL, EDGAR CAT Office for barrister's chambers. J. coM Scholarship for the 11+ exam. MARY NEEDH)

Unique (with quite). tots. I. M. CONN