18 JANUARY 1952, Page 14

SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 98 Report by Ronald Lambton A prize

of £5 was offered for a motto (in English) for four of the following groups : Rodent Operatives ; Tic-Tac Men ; Gossip Columnists ; Income-Tax Consultants ; Beauty Queens ; Beach Inspectors ; Atomic Research-Workers ; Barrow Boys ; Public Relations Officers ; Social Surveyors ; Housewives.

First, a word of apology to those harassed competitors whose misprinted copies of the Spectator curtailed by a week the natural life of this competition and thus gave the need for mottoes a some- what excessive urgency. Recognition of the _need, however, was shown by the gratifying response of public-spirited mottographers who rallied to the assistance of our under-privileged professions. They brought scholarship to the task, some wit, and plenty of ingenuity ; but it became evident, after reading some 400 of their suggestions, that the authentic motto is a deceptively elusive little thing. " Sentence . . . expressing appropriate sentiment," declares the Concise Oxford ; " maxim adopted as rule of conduct " • and, alas, a large proportion of entries expressed sentiments and rules of conduct unacceptable (officially) to a fledgeling Honourable Com- pany proudly sensitive to its public position. Sanctimony or the moral exhortation were, I thought, the most tactful notes to strike. Facetiousness or the patently cynical ambiguity, however entertain- ing to an outsider, would ill become the new armorial plate.

The scoring of successive bullseyes is always a rare accomplish- ment. Few competitors here managed more than a couple, and of these only two came within prize-winning distance of the quartet stipulated. To E. W. Fordham and C. S. W. accordingly go first and second prizes of £3 and £2—though I doubt whether C. S. W's fourth would survive a Harwell screening. Some other entries : Rodent Operatives Their death our victory Remember Hamelin (DOROTHY INNES) (C. J. M. PUMPHREY) (C. C. ROACH, GUY INNES, Catch as Catch Can E. GENISSIEUX) A Bey,an ! A Bevan ! (E. STAINTON) Beauty Queens For beauty's sake we bear (SIMON Sunu.EY) with all Strip to conquer (MRS. D. S. WALKER, ALLAN M.

LAING) Grin and bare it (HUBERT LLOYD JONES) Beauty is its own reward (W. D. GILMOUR)

(C. P. DRIVER, MARTIN HETON) (GRAEME WILSON) (DAVID HETON)

(RICHARD' Imo) (N. HODGSON) (A. G. RAYNER) (D. S. WALKER) (W. M. L. EscomaE) (ALLAN M. LUNG) (E. P. STANHAM, P. ROBERTS) (W. M. L. EscomBE) Fine and refine Public Relations Officers A soft answer turneth away wrath A suave front and a broad back • Housewives Non-Stoppers (C. C. ROACH) In my end is my beginning (R. P. S. WALKER)

FIRST PRIZE (E. W. FORDISAM) Rodent Operatives

We destroy the destroyer Tic-Tac Men Signally accurate Barrow Boys Best fruit foremost Housewives Heavy burdens light hearts SECOND PRIZE (C. S. W.) Gossip Columnists Quhat say they ?

Barrow boys Ripeness is all Social Surveyors Abide our question Atomic Research Workers From fission to vision Atomic Research-Workers United we split Divide and conquer By Harwell and Cherwell Barrow Boys Let goodness be uppermost The best to the top A little more for a little less Copper wise Gossip Columnists Truth adorned See all, Hear all, Tell all Tic-Tac. Men Odds bodlldns To arms whate'er the odds Beach Inspectors We cover the waterfront (MICHAEL JAMES, D. S. WALKER) (MYDDLETON HASLAM) (E. P. STANHAM) (P. ROBERTS)