YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. How does one prevent people whom one has invited on a carefully planned holi- day from 'chucking' at the last minute, leav- ing it too late for one to invite someone else? Each year I take a certain house on a certain island and, due to the necessity of hiring cooks and of making other arrange- ments, I book people in about six months in advance. This year, for the third year run- ning, key guests have cancelled, with flimsy excuses, just the day before they were due to arrive. I find it particularly irritating as we are six guests short and I have hired two cooks to look after — as it turns out — only five of us.
Name and address withheld A. One of the problems about booking peo- ple in so far in advance is that life-juggling types often find that when the time comes round it does not suit them to honour arrangements made six months before. One way of stiffening their resolve is to make them book their air ticket at the time of acceptance. Say, 'I must insist on this because it's only a small aeroplane and it gets booked up very quickly. I'll do it for you if you send me a cheque.' The thought of losing even only a small part of their non-refundable outlay is enough to make most people adjust themselves mentally to the inexorability of such a holiday and the option of chucking will cease to occur to them.
Q. When encountering strangers out walk- ing, I never know whether to say 'good evening' or 'hello'. If I say 'good evening' they invariably reply 'hello', and if I say `hello' they invariably reply 'good evening'. Please advise.
CB., Ridgewell, Essex A. In the early Sixties, David Frost pio- neered the expression 'hello, good evening and welcome'. This phrase may well prove suitable for your rambles. Q. I recently attended an outdoor lunch party where I noticed that a number of my 37-year-old friends seemed to have suffered coups de vieux, as 20 or so rogue grey hairs were struggling out of each of their skulls, adding years on to their real ages. How can one gently suggest to friends that they use some sort of cosmetic camouflage on their hair? It is my vanity, as their contemporary, which is wounded, if not their own.
A.S., Minchinhampton A. 'Perfumed pen' letters are indicated in these scenarios. Simply pop an anonymous typed letter in the post to the afflicted friends saying, 'You would be much more attractive without those twenty grey hairs. Have them naturally recoloured at Jo Hansford in Mount Street. A well-wisher.' People love receiving perfumed pen letters and, almost always, imagine they come from members of the opposite sex who fancy them.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, write to Mary Killen, clo The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, Lon- don WCI 2LL.
Previous page
