Alf the Bread Delivery Man

1/1 a recently published book, The Fire and the Fountain : an Essay on Poetry, Mr. John Press, to illustrate a theoretical point, perpetrated this parody of the opening lines of 'Kubla Khan' : In Bakerloo did Aly Khan A stately Hippodrome decree Where Alf the bread delivery man . . .

Competitors were challenged to continue this amusing beginning for a further thirteen lines in the same comic vein.

1‘A1tLY 140 competitors found this compe- !Ilion, in the words of one of them, ‘amus- N to try'; but, fortunately for the judge, they were not uniformly successful. Apart Iron) thematic discords, a great deal of eareless scansion and inaccurate rhyming Imade disqualification fairly easy in a num- ber of cases. The problem was, as noted by a competitor—Mr. G. M. Gathorne-Hardy --10 preserve the sound of the original While pursuing a quite different theme. It Was not altogether the fault of the com- petitors that in doing this they overwhelmed !Ile with the same phrases. I grew very tired Indeed of 'a bunless tea' and 'tenuous frills'; and some entrants used rather more of the Coleridge original than a good parody Should contain. Very few followed Mr. John Press's three lines with consistency and the same amusing but prosaic realism; and those who indulged in fantasy pro- duced entries which struck me as far- fetched and unnatural. However, I am glad t° say that there was one competitor who managed to combine delightfully amuse- ment and naturalism, and I am taking the almost unprecedented course of recom- to, ending him for the whole prize Mr. John D. McIntosh avoided the almost Inevitable 'bunless tea' and 'romantic hPasm' and yet contrived to suggest the °rIginal right through; and his theme Seemed to me excellently chosen. Close on ;‘,1r. McIntosh's heels came P. M. and R. Nennard Davis (of which there is room to

print only the first). I would also give honourable mention to Leslie Johnson, Richard Greet, Joyce Johnson, Ruth Hedger, Nancy Gunter, E. W. Fordham and the Rev. S. Z. Edwards.

PRIZE

(JOHN D. MCINTOSH)

In Bakerloo did Aly Khan

A stately Hippodrome decree : Where Alf the bread delivery man Collided with a draper's van While doing sixty-three.

So half a mile of tidy ground With cakes and clothes was littered round : And here were undies white with gorgeous frills.

Which brought on many a manly blush to

see, And here were rock-cakes ancient as the hills.

Enfolding sundry lots of masonry.

But oh 1 that deep traumatic scar which - slanted Down Alf's left cheek, that whisker could not cover!

'A horrid trace; as ugly and unwanted As e'er upon a human face was planted By Fortune!' said the surgeon, Mr. Glover.

COMMENDED (P. NO

In Bakerloo did Aly Khan A stately Hippodrome decree Where All the bread delivery man

The ravenous patrons of his van Saved from a bunless tea : For thrice a week he went his round With scones and plum-cake by the pound— And he had gateaux iced with sedulous skill,

Embossed with many an essenced fleur-de- lys,

Eclairs and petit-fours in paper frill Enfolding honeyed clots of creamery.

But oh ! the aromatic crust which panted Hot from the grill beneath his lines cover!

—A sausage pie as homely (yet enchanted) As e'er at noon in dining-room was planted By woman to waylay a he-man lover!