YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. I have received an email from a long-term dear acquaintance who lacks certain social graces because of long hours spent alone in his studio — he is a glass sculptor. It is an invitation to his birthday and he has provided two dates for a celebratory dinner, but unfortunately it has been phrased in such a way as to imply that he will reserve judgment as to which day it is to be. Given that we all have a busy social life and as an artist he is of a brittle disposition, how can I gently remind him that we cannot allocate two weekends on ‘stand-by’ as if we were budget flyers? I fear that this type of behaviour is becoming more and more common in these times of emails, texting and ‘mobile triangulating’ when it comes to social invitations.
E.J., London SW1 A. Why not play your solipsistic friend at his own game and reply by giving him a couple of dates on which it would suit you to attend a party given by him? If, as you say, he is of a brittle disposition and you already have a very busy social life, perhaps it will not matter if he takes offence. If, on the other hand, you take his insularity into account, you may mete out a more lenient punishment by acting daft and thanking him for his invitation on whichever of the two dates suits you best and ignore his having made any mention of the other.
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