MONDAY Mentioned trip 17 times this morning. Made me popular
for a bit but think may now be losing friends. The other press officers are clearly trying to ruin it. Sebastian complaining that we shouldn’t be going on a trip to highlight the harm done by carbon emissions on you-know-who’s private jet. Talk about sour grapes! Dave and Zac say it’s all right because we’ll offset the carbon emissions, and they tell me I’m to see to it. Didn’t like to admit I hadn’t the slightest idea what they were on about. I think we have to switch off the cappuccino maker at HQ for a few days, or something.
PM Big problem. The glacier we were going to visit is ‘surging’, not shrinking. Yummy Zac points out that there is also a respected body of science which says that even if it was shrinking it may not be down to climate change at all but Ice Age 2 — which I thought was a cartoon.
Even more confused now. Dave pacing about shouting, ‘Find me something that’s shrinking! Where’s Steve?’ Nigel wailing, ‘Of all the vanishing glaciers in the Arctic we have to pick one that might actually be getting bigger.’ Nigel’s deputy, Charlie, who used to work for Mr Hague, is ecstatic, ‘It’s just like the good old days. A traditional Tory cock-up.’ Hateful.
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