"Spectator" Competitions

RULES AND CONDITIONS Entries must be typed or very clearly written on one side of the paper only. The name and address, or pseudonym, of the competitor must be on each entry and not on a separate sheet. When a word limit is set words must be counted and the number given. No entries can be returned. Prizes may be divided at the discretion of the judge, or withheld if no entry reaches the required standard. The judge reserves the right to print or quote from any entry. The judge's decision is final, and no correspondence can be entered into on the subject of the award. Entries must be addressed to :-The Editor, the Spectator, 99 Gower Street, London, W.C. I, and be marked on the envelope Competition No. (---).

Competition No. 19 (Set by "Mum.") A PRIZE of £3 3s. is offered for a Dinner Menu, written in not less than twelve, and not more than twenty, lines of English rhymed verse.

Entries must be received not later than Monday, August 24th, 1931. The result of this competition will appear in our issue of September 5th.

Competition No. zo (Set by " SCADAVAY.") A PRIZE of £3 3s. is offered for an Epitaph on a Meteor- ologist in not more than 200 words of verse or prose.

Entries must be received not later than Monday, August 31st, 1931. The result of this competition will appear in our issue of September 12th.

The result of Competition No. 18 will appear in our next issue.

Report of Competition No. 17

(REPORT AND AWARD BY " DUGLI.")

A PRIZE of £3 3s. was offered for a Story, supposed to be told in twelve one shilling telegrams. Competitors might give their stories a title and could use twenty explanatory words, which could be used at any point in the sequence of telegrams but were not to form part of the telegrams them- selves.

A few competitors forgot that the name and address of the person to whom it is sent has to be included in the twelve words of a shilling telegram. But on the whole competitors have faithfully kept within the rules of this rather difficult competition. Perhaps it was too difficult. Certainly none of the entries reached a high standard. Too many people tried to condense the plot of a full length novel into their twelve telegrams. There were a number of detective stories, complete with sinister villain, lovely lady in distress and amateur sleuth ; and cryptic messages flew to and from Scotland Yard. C. W. Hodges and Walter Ashley were the best in this class. A good many stories centred round visits to the seaside. Some ended with drownings and some with wedding congratulations. One, by Mrs. C. M. Wilson, successfully included both a rescue and a wedding. One heroine was lost on a walking tour. (I hope it was only the need of saving a word that made the author describe this expedition as hiking " ?) Nannie Goat, whose entry is written out on Post Office telegram forms, has the ingenious idea of retelling the story of Little Red Riding Hood as " How he lied to her Grand- mother." An anonymous entry describes how a telegram from Hollywood reached the wrong Mr. Ed. Wallace in London.

The best entries are those that tell the least complicated stories. The following, in addition to those already mentioned, deserve to be Highly Commended-Besta ; Celtic° ; Damon ; Jerrard Tickell.

The prize of £3 3s. is awarded to Miss ROSA VINE, Mill Meadow, Burley, New Forest.

THE WINNING STORY. THE PoLLY IN POLITICS. By Miss Rosa Vine.

9.17 a.m. Qualmsley. June 24, 1931.

Lady Prowdhed Torifold. Regret impossible speak meeting to-morrow retiring ill-health. PAIMITT.

(Telegraphic message, as telephone) Meiriinan " Clublife " London.

Paul Padditt retired procure good speaker immediately. AUNT AUGUSTA..

(Same telegram, as delivered) 10.3 a.m. Torifold. June 24th, 1931.

Merriman Clublife London.

Poll parrot required procure good speaker immediately. AUNT AUGUSTA.

5.46 p.m. London. June 24th, 1931.

Prowdhed Torifold. .

Bird arriving morning African talks well sound political views.

AP.cniz

6.19 p.m. Torifold. June 24, 1931. Secretary Conservative Association Snugborough eloqumt speaker to-morrow Mr. Bird from Africa. PROWDHED.

11.36 a.m. Torifold. June 25th, 1931.

Merriman Clublife London.

Received parrot idiotic joke unpardonable impertinence. AUNT Al7GUSTA.

11.39 a.m. Torifold. June 25th, 1931.

Skinner Solicitor Writsworth.

Wish make new will disinheriting Archibald. AUGUSTA PROWDHED.

(From Lady Prowdhed's secretary) 11.42 a.m. Torifold. June 25th, 1931. Merriman Clublife London.

Mooting to-day no speaker aunt furious try pacify. TRIxri.:.

12.12 p.m. London. June 25th, 1931. Smiler care Prowdhed Torifold.

Motoring down full speed Polly the goods. Ant' on:.

(From local Reporter.) 2.57 p.m. TorifOld. June 25th, 1931.

Echo Snugborough. Conservative meeting unprecedented situation speaker absent feathered substitute parrot politician.

(Ditto) 4.19 p.m. Torifold. June 25th, 1931.

Echo Snugborough. Unparalleled success Polly shouts vote for tariff reform vociferous cheers. . . .

(Romantic interlude)

4.26 p.m. Weddyns-End Herts. August 5th, 1931. Prowdhecl Torifold.

Thanks for kind Congratulations and handsome present.

ARCHIE 'AND TRIXIIL

A HIGHLY COMMENDED ENTRY. How IT'S DONE

Ed. Wallace London.

State terms six months' stay Hollywood-six scenarios. • ••

. . SicrrNzxr. Skunzxy Hollywood.

First class fare return £500 each film. WALLACE.

. . Ed. Wallace London.

Why the razzberry ? Serious offer £16,000 retainer. Sictrrizxv.

Skunzxy Hollywood.

Well if you insist accept contract at your figure thanks.. - •

WALLACE..

Ed. Wallace LondOn.

Can you leave September de luxe accommodation pencilled Majestic. SKUNZXY. Skunzxy Hollywood. Suits admirably have arranged 'obtain release present job.

Wsm...tes.

Ed. Wallace London.

What job ? Intend film " Coat of Arms " as " Secret Passion."

SKUNZXY.

Skunzxy Hollywood.

Cannot adapt another man's work prefer write own scenarios. WALLACE. Ed. Wallace London. Understood you never pirated or used ghosts.

Skunzxy Hollywood.

I'm not Edgar but Ed. Q. Wallace author "Erie's. Chums."

Ed. Wallace London.

Okay propose picturize " Eric's Chums" as ".Passionate Youth."

Sit,trNzqcv.

Skunzxy Hollywood.

Sailing second class Majestic Septetnber. Vitainsoa.

SKUNZXY.