The Muse and the News

Some while ago a paragraph in a newspaper began: 'There is still no news of the party of Jews that left Portobello on Sunday.' The usual prize money was offered for the most Convincingly sustained current news item in accidental rhymed verse, with a limit of 50 words.

J. A. LINDON expressed himself as doubtful Whether he and his fellow competitors were in- tended to fabricate imaginary paragraphs, or hunt for real ones, but only one newspaper extract was received as an entry, although four other competi- tors annexed cuttings to vouch for the accuracy of their subject matter. A reasonable approach to verisimilitude was held to be sufficient.

The first test to be applied was to see whether the passage read well as normal, workmanlike. journalistic prose. In some of the best entries the rhyming and scansion became evident only on a Careful re-reading. ('Very difficult to get this rhyming at the same time obviously and not obviously,' complained Jeremy Kingston.) Scan- sion was not mentioned in the terms of the com- Petition, • but since they had the harder task, versifiers who followed metrical orthodoxy were accorded preference over the 'clerihew' school. The best of the irregular scanners was Alberick : From Central Africa it is reported that in the Coronation Motor Rally one competitor was thwarted of a place in the 3,000-mile race by a giraffe, which actually halted in front of the Ford's bonnet and then sat down upon it. In view of the illustrious example set by Lewis Carroll, - rhyming with an internal syllable, as exploited by Rhoda Tuck Pook..Barbara, Roe and A- M. Sayers, was allowed, and because of the low word-limit, if any passage ceased in mid-sentence, the fact was not held against its author. _ As for topics, foreign affairs provided the most fruitful field, while the most popular of specific

events were the Boat Race and the threatened bus strike. 'Goodwill' anticipated the cricket season :

At Leeds, where Yorkshire won the toss on their first day of county cricket, their openers on an easy wicket reached ninety-seven without loss. Then Laker, who was bowling well, had Lowson caught at second slip. At this point Yorkshire seemed to lose their grip. . . - and so, unfortunately, did the reporter. Acknow- ledgement is made to W. K. Holmes for the head- ing to this report.

Prize-winners are awarded 18s. each, and dis- appointed competitors may draw comfort from the fact that it will be some time before the setter is able to read his newspaper in a straightforward way.

PRIZES

(DAVID DRUMMOND)

Little more either way was the rule of the day in advance of the Chancellor's speech, Dorman Long closing strong, but though Suit Betong and Labu lost a few coppers each, others seemingly waited a state- ment on Bank rate. Elsewhere, tea was weak. Shipping sank.

(u. A. C. EVANS) During a fight on Saturday night in the Philip of Spain. the proprietor said he was hit on the head by a bicycle chain. His assailant was brought to the Magistrates' Court, where, in spite of denial, he failed in his plea and. in consequence, he was committed for trial.

(NANCY GuNTEa)

Regrettable scenes between Beauty-Queens were witnessed at Dimblegate while attempting to choose Miss Peep-Toe-Shoes for 1958. Blonde )ennifer Jupp the runner-up tried to claw the winner's face and was hustled and booed in the brawl that ensued when a free-for-all took place.

(LYNDON IRVING)

In the Zoo at Palm Springs, tt, bird without wings has been hatched from an egg flown from Bodo. Biologists think that the bird is a link with the Didus Ineptus, or Dodo.

(tutoriA TUCK P00K) It is confidently rumoured that the chance of Premium Bond awards next month is small, the public being cautioned in advance that nothing may mater- ialise at all through Ernie's inner vitals being Jammed. Investors are anticipating he will prevent their expec- tations being damned and respond to electronic surgery.

(BARBARA ROE)

There were snow and gales in England and Wales. In Scotland, east of a line from Kirkcudbright to Cromarty, temperatures ranged from 9 to 27. Olt Cornwall and Devon the sea began to freeze. It was milder and dry in the Isle of:Skye and the Outer Hebrides.

(A. J. WYBORN) -

In spite of the fall reported on .Wall Street yester- day, buyers were active, and building shares went up as well as cement. Electricals. too, proved attractive. Though gilt-edged rose toward the close. industrials made the best showing, and the firmness of steel caused the City to feel pretty confident. . . .