Socialist successes
Sir: The recent publication of a pamphlet by the Labour party entitled Socialist Successes, price 6d, prompts rne to suggest that it is high time to issue a guide (a fourpenny one) to the understanding of Socialist phraseology 1968 to 1984.
Each day I find it more and more difficult to know what certain English phrases in the mouths of Socialist ministers really mean. Perhaps squares such as myself need a handy guide to which we could refer when in doubt, though 1 have managed, through trial And error, to work out a few of the most obvious ones.
Phrase New Socialist meaning Break-through Devaluation of the pound Economic miracle Economic blizzard 24% mortgage Multiply by a factor of three Blown slightly off Up to your ankles course in it Necessary spare Heavy unemployment capacity
1 can honestly say I believe you can be bluffed into believing what 1 am about to say
Steady as she goes Heading right up the creek More goodies Less goodies Break in the clouds A shaft of lightening lightning Export-orientated More unemployment boom
A touch on the tiller Assault and battery on
the taxpayer Keeping one's options Not knowing what the open hell to do A foreword in this projected pamphlet by the Prime Minister might runs as follow,:
'As confidence in my ministers Is of para- mount importance in these critical days, which we can honestly say were caused by Toty mis- rule, unfavourable tidal phenomena, unpre- dictable lunar variations, virulent sun spots, George Brown and Uncle Tom Cobbleigh and de Gaulle, we expect the mass communication media (take note BBc) to refrain from any criticism of members of my government. A Bill to ensure that this voluntary procedure will be adhered to, will be introduced in the next session,. though the situation might be covered by amending the Obscene Publications Regulations 1968 and note.'
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