SUMMER TIME.
"T DON'T suppose you've remembered," said Amanda as we sat at dinner, "that the clocks must be altered to-night." "It had not escaped me," I replied. "Well, anyhow" (I don't know why she said "anyhow "), "I'll put them all back after dinner." " Back ? " I queried. "Of course, you old stupid. The chauffeur told me, and he's been in France."
I may mention that, though I am now a country gentleman, of pacific tastes and opinions, with a growing tendency to a development of the lower chest, I too, in the far-off days of the war called Great, had also been in France, longer indeed than the chauffeur. In fact, I had filled, without actual disgrace, a position in the military hierarchy even higher than his. Amanda, bless her ! seems to have forgotten this, and I would not for worlds have it otherwise. Moreover, I have, in common with many husbands, noticed that my opinions, even on topics I am paid to know about, are in the home circle of no account if they conflict with the alleged utterances of, say, the dustman as reported by the under-housemaid. No sensible husband resents this. It keeps his head from swelling. Incidentally. it often leads to real fun, in the which hope I refrained on the present occasion from contesting the point.
Dinner over, Amanda proceeded to cope with the situation, while I meditated. I anticipated that she, being a woman who takes "a powerful sight of notice," would have seen the kindly hints given by our efficient daily Press, and that she would be careful not to put the hands of the clock back one hour, but to put them forward eleven hours. We possess thirteen clocks, of which twelve strike. I anticipated—work it out for yoursolf, allowing for half-hours—something over 1,000 strikes. And it was so, only better, for the cuckoo clock—I had forgotten him—completely mastered the bowling and scored 128.
"I've finished," said Amanda, putting her head in at the door ; "lucky I was at home. I'm going to—" " Cuckoo ! " croaked the hoarse but undefeated fowl. "Summer is yeomen in," I remarked. "What do you moan ? " said Amanda. "Oh, that clock ! Don't be funny. I'm for bed."
Next morning I awoke to find Amanda standing by my bedside. "I say," she said, "is anything wrong ? " "Not here, my love," I replied; "all is wondrous well with your husband.
He is feeling very bright, and the day is fine and seemingly well aired." "That's just it," she persisted. "Look where the sun is. I've been awake for hours and starving. What time is it ? My idiotic watch has stopped." "Nothing is wrong, my old queen," I replied, "except—yes, perhaps all our clocks. They say it is 8 o'clock, but in the world outside it is 10. My good leech has prescribed rest and a liberal diet.
I have rested, and can nowdevote• my energies totnourishment. --We shall have breakfast at 11, and with any luck it will be over by lunchtime." "John," -she said (she only calls ins John - when she is sngry),'"xlid you know it all along ? You beast I " And she swept from the 700111.
Five minutes later I heard a gurgle outside as of one suppressing mirth, and Amanda came back rather pink about :the gills. "It -was s 'fair cop,' " she fizzed. "I'll :forgive you if you like." I did like ; so she did. And the evening .and the morning were to all intents and purposes the same day L.
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