SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO BE A WOMAN
Michaela Young went on a management
course and discovered that boys will be nasty but that girls can be cows
I WORK for a high-street bank and I recently attended a three-day course entitled 'Career Skills Development for Women'. A colleague recommended it. 'I feel re-energised,' she said, as she gave accounts of women who after the training had been promoted or left the bank for a better job, and one who had ejected her boyfriend from her flat and changed all the locks. So, six months later, I was in my room at the management-training centre, waiting with some apprehension for the course to start the next morning. It was already much better than being at work: ensuite bathroom, television, trouser-press, hairdryer. A big window looked onto a gravel drive; there were Canada geese on the lawn; a lake, then green fields beyond.
The facilities were excellent, too: gym, sauna, swimming-pool. You could have a health check, a fitness test, reflexology, aromatherapy and massage. I wanted to stay there for at least a week. I was amazed that the bank still had the infrastructure to run these establishments, and even more amazed that they offered courses specifically designed for women. I wondered if a deep voice would lull me to sleep, suggesting that I work for a very small amount of money, and that I produce babies for the organisation; they would wear romper-suits in corporate colours, gurgle contentedly and grow up to be loyal employees.
The aim of the course is to encourage 'women with potential' to move into the higher management bands (four, three, two and one) where they are thin on the ground. Depressingly thin, in fact. Here are some statistics: women constitute over half the workforce here (64 per cent) and they occupy most (84 per cent) of the lowestlevel jobs at band eight. I am a band five, which is one above complete dogsbody.
There were 20 of us and one trainer, who was Welsh and had rather close-set eyes. We split into groups and, using the conventional tools of discussion, slides and video, we took a look at male/female behaviour patterns. We were shown a video of a group of sixyear-old primary-school children; they were all given some Playdoh and told to make something. Voluntarily, they divided into same-sex groups and all the girls sat down quietly and busied themselves making nice shapes out of their Playdoh: a flower, a tree, a house. After five minutes of fidgeting, staring into space or throwing the Playdoh around, most of the boys abandoned their task for more interesting pursuits like running round after each other, leaving behind a few pathetic, twisted lumps of dough. Then each group was given a toy cine-camera; when they turned a knob on the side and looked through the viewfinder, they could see some pictures. Without being asked, the girls shared the camera round, so that each could have a go; the girl with the camera described what she saw to the others, who listened with rapt attention. The boys began by a show of sharing, but then one of them started to hog it; they argued and, in the end, one boy was ostracised from the group while the others carried on quibbling.
Overall, my preconceptions were confirmed: men have got where they are today by sheer brute force; they are more competitive, combative and aggressive, slashing and burning their way to the top. Women tend to collaborate and consult, and are more sensitive to other people's feelings. So very female women do not get anywhere, and very male men leave chaos and misery in their wake.
The gist of the course: do not undervalue the passive 'female' qualities you have spent years learning, but do not be pushed around either. Sometimes you need to be competitive, combative and even aggressive (if someone is really taking advantage of you) in the office and in life, if you want to be able to respect yourself and have the respect of others.
We spent an hour considering the tricky subject of appearance at work, and were given some handy hints and tips:
Hair: not too long (too sexy) or too short (not feminine enough) but shoulder-length.
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