HOOD'S UP THE RHINE

Is a series of letters from a party of Rhenish tourists to friends at home, descriptive of' a trip front London to Coblenz. The " groundwork " of time volume is confessedly derived front Humphrey Clinker, and has a closer resemblance in other points than Mr. Hoop seems willing to allow. Not only are the things described selected and coloured by the peculiar disposition of the letter-writers, with occasionally the laughable artifice of misspelling, but many of the persons in the E,2,eqlitb'sn of Humphrey Clinker have their doubles iu the Rhenish tour of the fitfully party. SIIOLLETT'S Squire Bramble has a counterpart in Mr. Hoon's Squire Orcherd, an old bachelor uncle, who fancies himself' an invalid doomed to die suddenly, and, in pursuance of medical advice, consents to a trip up the Rhine in the full persuasion he shall never return alive. His motive in going, however, is not to improve his own health, which he holds to be an impossibility, but to try if chemise of scene will benefit Mrs. Wilmot, a newly-widowed sister pining for the death of her " dear George." And this lady, in age and relationship, occupies the place of the inimitable. Mistress Tabitha Bramble; but iu the tenderness and sentiment ocher nature, and the charector of the topics she selects, has more resemblance to Lydia Melford, grown older, and travelling in a strange land. Martha Penny, Mrs. Wilmot's maid, is an exact counterpart of Winifred Jenkins, with her low spirits, her cunning, her simplicity, her bad English, and her ludicrous mistakes, heightened of course by the novelties of foreign travel. As 1Vinifred took up with Methodism, and in her.epistles made a strange mixture of carnal and spiritual things, heightened by an abuse of the theological terms which Warrereao bad brought into religioes vogue, so Martha is first puzzled by doubts, and finally converted to Catholicism. Humphrey Clinker himself has not been ventured upon by Air. Hoop, nor Lieutenant Lismahago; but young 1;e1fOrd, the nephew in Smouserr, whose main function is to carry on the narrative untainted by miscon- ceptions or mental peculiarities, is performed in Up the Rhine by Mr. Orchard's nephew Frank Somerville.

In one sense there is no resemblance to Humphrey Clinker, for there is little of what is called story, or the scenes and passion which a story invelves. Neither are the mere incidents of travel- ling so rich as those of SMOELETT'S nc,red ; or the characters so thoroughly developed, tmleas where they verge upon caricature— Os in Mr. Orchard, and the red-faced Cockney. But the frame- work of Up the Mine is sufficiently natural ; and time accessorial persons, lidlen in with in the course of the journey, answer the purpose for ivhieh they are introduced, and contribute to very the interest.

Looked upon as a mere tour, and a sketch of' the manners and scenes of an oft-described route, Mr. noon's plan has great ad- vantages. By IIIcUmS of characters peculiar from nature, habit, or ignorance, aunty timings can be presented to the reader which the common run of travellers avoid as vulgar, mean, or' little. The thread of the story, slender as it is, facilitates dramatic exhibition; and the characters being drawn with considerable skill, furnish a source of interest when other topics fail. Nor is the more level style of travel-writing and the reflections of a traveller boat sight of: There arc also, ot' course, some legends of the Rhine in prose and verse : but this subject, is so backnied, that even :sir. Hoof's liveliness and point earl add little essential novelty to German tales whether serious or bantering. Up 11w :Mine opens very well, with a good development of time hypochondriac country squire, both from his own pen and that of his nephew: sonic novelty is given to a gale in at steamer by time bringing out the various notions of the passengers, as well as by Martha Penny's comments upon what site felt and what she saw; and many of the scenes on the way, between the -various persons, are laughable,' if' a little forced. But to exhibit these effectively, would require a greater space than we are inclined to give; so we must content ourselves with -smaller wares. Here are some of Martha Penny's spiritual outpourings.

TROUBLES OF DOUBT.

And now; Becky, it must never go furdcr, but be kep a religus secret be- twixt our two selves, but ever slime Colon Cathedral I have been dreadful itusettled in my mind with spirituous pints. It seemed as if I had a call to turn into a Romau. Besides the voice in my hone inward parts, I've been prodigusly urged and advized by the Party you don't know to -becum a proste- Iste, and decant all my errors, and throw myself into the buzzum of Rome. sander compels to say, its a verry.eumfittable religun, and then such splendid Churchis and alters and grand eerimonis, and such a bewtiful mulch, service, and so many mirakles and wunderful relicts besides, plain Church of Bin:heel going, partickly in the country parts, do look pore and mean and pokey ;titer it, Batts the truth. To be sure theres transmigration but even that 1 mite get over in time, for we can beleave any thing it we really wish to. Its a grate temptation, and provided I felt quite certin of bettering meself, I would con- vert meself at once. But Lord nose, praps its all the wart: of Satan at bottom awanting me to deny my Catkism and throw MI the Minester I've set under so Tammy years. Oh, Becky, its terribel hard work to argufy yureself out of yore own persuasion ! You may supose with such contrary serupples and in- ward feeliags pulling two ways at once, oat trithhles and tribbleation I go thro ! The wust is my low tits and cryiags cant be bid from Missis, who have questiond me very closely, but if she once thoght I was agoing to turn and alter my religun, it wood soon be, Martha, sute yourself, witch to be throne out of place in a forrin land would be very awkward; and as such preps would be most advizable to put off my beleaviag iu any thing at all, till our return to Kent. Besides, Becky, you may leet inclind, on propper talking to, to give up yore own eonvixions too, and in that ease we can both embrace ;he Pope at the same time.

MOTIVE OF AN orFaItIein.

Between you and me, I am going this evening to Virgen Marv's Chapel, for if so he von present a wax catulle at her, and pray with all pm; hart and sole, they do say yore as shore of a Bo, as if you had him in cure hone u" try. Anv bows its wurth the trial ; besides the hole town is chuck fall of officers anSmilentary agin the Grate Sham Fites and Skrimmages, and as Mirakels don't stick at trifles, who nose but I may be Alissis Carting? But I hear Missus Bell.

FTIIST CONFESSION.

P.S. MT begun to confess a little, namely going to the. German Ball in MisAs's silk staekins. Bat I couldn't quite unbuzzum. But in coarse me and the Priest will get more confidential in time.

THE SEX IN GERMANY.

P.S. The fair sects have a hard place in Germany. I forgot to say in our incursion we saw plenty of winindu a toiliu and moilin at meas labors in the roads and fields. But that's not the mast, theyre made beasts of. 'Wet do you think, Becky, of a grate hulkin feller, a lollaping and smoking in his boat on the Bind, with his pore Wife a pullyClawling him along by a rope, like a towin horse on the banks of the Tons!

It will be seen by a reader of Smor,t.r.rr, that Martha Penny is not so much an imitation as a plagiarism—with this addition, that the ignorance and misconception which were probable in a Welsh girl of his time, are not natural in a Kentish ladies maid of ours.

A GERMAN DINNER—TABLE D'HOTE.

First Caine the soup, very like barley broth, supposing rice instead of bar's.-, and then the beef which had been boiled in it, of course very insipid. It re- minded me of the patent Pimlico bread I once tasted, when, as poor George said, they had extracted all the spirit and left nothing behind but the corpse of a loaf. I was obliged to leave it on my plate, where, as it got cold, it turned almost as white ns a piece of wood. But you would have admired the dexterity of the waiters. One of them brought a large pile of clean plates, holding one between each finger, and dealt them out as if they had been cards. The worst is, the plates and dishes arc nil stone-cold ; end, as instead of a bill of fire, every course is put on the table to show what you are to expect, and is then taken off again to be carved, the hottest of their hot dinners is only like a hasty attempt in warm weather at a cold collation. But what most surprised me was the order of the eatables, so different to any established by Mrs. Glasse or Mrs. Mundell. After the soup, &c. came in a monstrous dish of asparagus, with a sauce innate of oiled butter and hard-boiled eggs. Next appeared a capon and salad, then a very sweet pudding, and thou sonic very sour krout. The next dish that weut its rounds, like a novel in a circulating library, was of very small, very waxy kidney potatoes, (Frank culled them " Murphy's thumbs,") and then followed sonic unknown vegetable, with a very unpleasant smell, in a brown sauce, looking, according to Frank, like " sailors' fingers stewed in tar." Next we had salmon and perch, in jelly, and cold; and last, and certainly not least, a great solid piece of roast veal. My brother, who partook of every thing, was amused at this putting the cart before the horse. " Egad! Kate," he whispered, " I have eaten the wrong end of my dinner first ; and suppose, to digest it properly, I must stand on my head." Indeed, I came in for my own share of novelties ; for what seemed a piekt,d walnut was so sweet, that the mere surprise made Inc return it rather hastily to my plate. I was pro- voked enough, and espeeially as the Londoner thought proper to notice it. " Just like them Germans, ma'am," said he; " they anal, even tip to pickled walnuts!" But what followed was worse; for after helping himself to what looked like preserved plums, but proved to be sour, he spluttered One out without any, -ceremony, calling out loud enough for the whole recta to hear him, " Pickled 'utilises, by jingo!" As you may suppose, I made up my mind to dine no more at a table-Whine.

Ilere is a hit at German sentiment, followed in the volume by an account of suicides amongst Germans. The occasion for it is one of Mr. Orchard's hypochondriacal expectations of death. " This conversation brought us to our lodgings, where we found my node just recovering from a warning,' which had been accompanied by rather sin- gular circumstances. It appears that at the Civil Cassino, to which f eeigners are liberally admitted, he had formed an aequaintance with a Mr. Selmlirmer, who spoke a little English, nod had offered to be his cicerone to the Kuhl:opt, the highest hill near Coblene, and celebrated for the splendid view from the top. Probably our hypochondriac was a little blown by the steepness of the ascent, or rendered rather dizzy by the height : however, feeling some unusual sensations on reaching the sanonit, he immediately took it for granted that he was ,going suddenly ;' accordingly, deliberately preparing himself for his de- parture, first by sitting and then by lying down, he' composed his decent head to breathe his last.' His calmness and business-like manner, I suppose, gave an appearance of wilful premeditation to the act; for, according to Nunkle's account, he had no sooner intimated to his companion what was about to happen, than the other Wiling into one of those suicidal tits of exaltation so prevalent in Germany, burst out with, It is one sublime tort ! and here is one sublime place for it ; I shall die tool' Whereupon, without more cure- mony, he pulled a little phial of Prussic acid, or some other mortal compatmd; from his wnistcoat-pocket, and was proceeding to swallow the contents; when' the dying man, jumping up, knocked down the bottle with one hand and Mr. Schwiirmer himself with the other ; and then. totally forgetting his own ext.& mity, walked off in double quick time, nor over stopped MI he reached his oWn- door. Two full hours had elapsed since the occurrence, but between the walk'' home and his moral indignation, he had hardly cooled down when we arrived."

Whilst the elder tourists are waiting at Coblenz, the nephew ac- companies a military friend to Berlin, with the troops to which he is attached, and draws a very striking picture of the honesty of the people and the cheapness of the inns in out-of-the-way places : but he does not say how much of the latter quality was derived from his travelling with Germans and military men. This is his summary of his campaigning. " Tims ended my practical connexion wilt the gallant Nineteenth. But I ,tall often recall my eb:tnee quarters—my provident morning foragings against a jour muly e, when a &Arching wind might have found a roll of bread and butter in one pocket, and mayhap a brace of cold pigeons in the other—the cheerful rendezvous—the friendly greetings—and the picnic by the road-side. 1 shall often hear iu fancy the national' Ant Rhein! Am Rhein!' chorused by a hundred voices—the exciting charge, beaten at the steep hill or deep _round—and the spirit-stirring bugle, ringing amidst the vast pine-woods of '5;eracinv !

" Neither shall I forget the people at whose tables I had eaten, in whose dwellings I had lodged. Perhaps the. force of blood had something to do with the metier, however distant tia. relationship, but my liking inclined parti- cularly to the Saxons. Yet were the others good creatures to remember.•Even in the desolate emwtry I had lately pas=ei through, the absence of all locrlir.ess in th.r scenery had been atoned for by this moral bean; v. Nature, scareely kinder than a step-mother, Lml allattol to them a sterile soil and a harsh rlimate : the pee:inlay dust was as mach too scarce as other sorts of dirt were a v,a. plentiful ; spoons were often deficient ; occasionally used knives and forks ; and at times their household wants were of a very primitive cha- racter; but the people were kind, honest, hearty, humble, well-disposed, elisions to please, and easily pl asetl. in return. Their best cheer and accom- modations were offered with pleasant looks awl civil words ; and I cannot recall a single fast-Ines ofehurlishness or cupidity."