New life
Self service
Zenga Longmore
Whilst searching for an iced-bunnery last week, Omalara and I found ourselves In the restaurant of a department store.
'Look! Look! It's Aunty!' bellowed Oma- lara, pointing a stubby finger. I too yelled with surprise; for who should be behind the
counter, serving decaffeinated coffee, but my dear friend Hey Big Gita. Now I don't want you to go away with the idea that the poor girl has Hey Big Gita written on her birth certificate. The `Hey part of the name derived from the time when Gita entertained the patrons of the Frog and Nightgown by singing Shirley Bassey numbers. In one of the songs, she substituted the word Gita for 'Spender', though why she would have done such a thing, I could not possibly say. . Anyway, there stood Hey Big Gita, wav- ing and cooeeing for all she was worth. The brilliance of her smile appeared incongru- ous beneath her great sad eyes. It has often been said that Hey Big Gita has eyes like a water-buffalo. That day they seemed rounder, blacker• and more buffalo-like than ever, only they were set off beautifully by a red caste mark which nestled between them.
'Watcher, me old mate. Let's have a butchers at the kid — gor! Ain't he grown — oh no, it's not a he, is it? Stone me! You know I'm married now, don't you — well, .course you do, you came to my wedding, innit. Hai! Be quiet a sec.' (In a stage- whispered croak) 'Look!' Gita's gaze was directed at a green- haired young man in an anorak. Paying no attention to Gita, myself or any of the Other customers, he was taking food from the counter and eating it as he went along. If my memory serves me right, his meal commenced with a tuna-fish sandwich. This he eat swiftly, putting the crumb-strewn Plate back on the shelf. As a main course, a sausage roll was chosen, washed down with a. glass of still lemonade. After smacking his lips noisily, he completed his repast With a jam doughnut. Just before he reached the till, he placed a digestive bis- cuit on a plate and said in a bold voice, 'All I want is a biscuit'. With that, he slammed 15p in Gita's hand, stuffed the biscuit into his pocket and swaggered away. 'Well!' came a shocked chorus of voices ,after his departure. 'Did you see that?' What a brazen cheek!"Well, blow me down!"Yeah, that geezer's got more nerve than a bad tooth,' Hey Big Gita confided. He always does that. Every Thursday at this time, there he is scoffing all the nosh he. can lay his filthy mitts on, then buying a fliPPing biscuit. It gets me vexed up, man!'
'Couldn't you cough very loudly next time he does it?'
`Nah. That would only make the manag- er come out, then I'd get the sack for a,llowing him to do it in the first place. No,
11 think of something for next Thursday, don't you worry. In fact, why don't you cOme in again next week as well, and take a ringside chair?'
I happily agreed to do so. Hey Big Gita's eyes sparkled like those of a water-buffalo Who has been at the cream — or do I mean he water? I chewed pensively on an iced
Linn, and Omalara fell into a peaceful sleep.
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