SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 152 Report by Guy Kendall The usual

prizes were offered for nursery rhymes commemorating Cromwell and the dismissal of the Rump, Titus Oates and the Popish Plot, the Boston Tea-Party, the Jameson Raid, the Persian national- isation of oil or the atomic, explosion at Montebello.

Three main points have governed the decision in this competition: (1) It is essential that a nursery rhyme should, run easily, not pull you up in the middle to decide how it should be read. (2) Where it is historical, its meaning should to some extent be disguised even from contemporaries. Too many rhymes that ran well were simply open chronicles of the event. (3) I think that the preference should be given, other things equal, to really new rhymes, not imitations or parodies of the old. This does not mean that the latter were Ws- , qualified; indeed some of them are prizewinners. But when you sit down to write a historical nursery rhyme, you are tempted, perhaps, to begin with a fatal facility, something like Yah, Yah, Yankee, Have you any tea?

Under point two General Sir Walter Venning's apt little quatrain comes under criticism: Titus, mendacious son, Hatched a plot, a Popish one; The plot was cheat, Oates was beat Crying all down Oxford Street (which is true). The same point told against the nice lines by J. C. Darracott on the same subject.

Even Macaulay came in for imitation: Mossyface of Teheran

By the nine gods he swore That though he had been wrong three times He would be wrong once more

And can it be that there was a slight reminiscence of Struwwelpeter in James Bowker's rhyme of Cromwell and the Rump?

As was to be expected, Persian oil and Montebello attracted the greatest number of entries. The Boston Tea-Party came next, and produced evidence, by airmail from Helen Robinson, that the Spectator competitions are studied by New Yorkers. Then came Cromwell. Of the Jameson Raid perhaps it is true that it is too old for most memories and too young for history. ._"Penney," of course produced many puns, and his K.B.E. was not forgotten, e.g., by Janet Hamilton: Penney Plain Penny Plain Went to Montebello; He made a stir and came back "Sir" The scientific fellow.

Prizes of £1 each to Howard N. Burton, W. Bernard Wake, P. M. Langdgle-Smith, and James Bowker, and ten shillings each to Mrs.. Nancy Gunter and the ingenious D. S. Gordon. Honourably mentioned, E. S. W., Douglas Stirling, G. Scott Fawell (for Monte- bello), Harry T. Browne and R. Kennard Davis.

PRIZES Persian Oil

(HowARD N. BURTON) Ab-a-dan-dan What a funny old man! The oil's in the pipe, but it's not in the can.

How can he move it without any boats ? How can they move him without any votes ? Hi-cock-a-lorum.

There's never a quorum.

(W. BERNARD WAKE)

Once there was an old man Went to steal a cow. Found he couldn't milk it, Didn't know how.

He couldn't make butter, And be hadn't any bread. The old man began to cry And took to his bed.

(P. M. LANGDALE-SMITH) Little man Mossy Sat on his bed,

Weeping and wailing And holding his head. He saw what he wanted And grabbed what he saw, But now that he's got it, He wants it no more. Cromwell

(JAMES BOWKER)

011y, 011y, far from jolly, Chid the boys for sloth and folly, Called them mad, called them bad— Used up all the words he had; Then (to show that he was able) Snatched their plaything from the table; Trounced them round the chamber-floor, Threw them out and locked the door.

Boston Tea-Party (NANCY GUNTER) Sammy Smarty At the party

Wouldn't take his tea, He kicked his nurse, And what was worse He threw it in the sea.

Persian OH

(D. S. GORDON) I ran out of oil

He ran out of oil He ran Iran out of oil He ran Tehran frantic. I ran he ran Tehran ran Wasn't that romantic?