YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. I am constantly running into a couple in London whom I have known for many years. It seems that practically every time I go to a party they too are present. I now realise that next week I can expect to see them at no fewer than three parties to which we are all likely to have been invited, and as I have completely run out of conver- sation with them I am beginning to dread seeing them again. I am now coming rather close to 'cutting' this couple next time our paths cross, rather than trying to find some- thing to say to them. What should I do, as I may even end up becoming an enemy of theirs and yet I am very fond of them — in fact I basically love them? A.B. London, W8 A. You are not alone in suffering from this problem. One of London's most popular men now ruthlessly refuses invitations to large parties. 'Each time I go to one', says J.H., 'I make one new friend and lose five old ones.' Yet parties are not the place for the reinforcement of established relation- ships. They are ideal friend exhibitions where the seeds of new liaisons are sown, liaisons which can be 'brought on' later in a more personalised environment. It is for this reason that the over-popular do best to go to parties early and take up positions just inside the entrance point. This allows them to process everyone necessary and ensures that no one can talk for too long as they will be propelled forward into the throng by the new arrivals coming up the rear. As for your problem with the couple you mention, how- ever, you must ring them up and arrange a tete-a-tete before the rash of forthcoming events at which you expect to see them. This will give you an opportunity to restore the intimacy which has been dissipated by these ridiculous encounters in crowded rooms and will give you new conversational mate- rial to draw on for your next encounters. Q. We are to give luncheon to friends in the near future. We anticipate a trouble- free occasion in all areas but one. Our friends are Christians of the 'evangelical' persuasion and will, if past experience is anything to go by, insist on us all singing grace with our hands held around the table. This is something which my wife and I do not wish to participate in, particularly in our own home, since we find it distasteful and pretentious. How can we ensure that the luncheon proceeds minus this potential- ly embarrassing scene, without causing unnecessary offence to our friends?
P. and MC., Cardiff A. Why not outwit your friends by asking those assembled at the table in pompous manner if they will be good enough to observe the 'Quaker grace' which is the favoured tradition in your household. No doubt they will all agree but will ask what form this Quaker grace takes. 'It is very simple,' you can say quite truthfully. 'It just involves contemplating the food we are about to receive in silence for ten seconds before we start.'
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