YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. After dinner last Saturday night, I longed for one of the Charbonnel & Walk- er chocolates I had handed to my weekend hostess on arrival. I had been vaguely fanta- sising about them ever since, but in the event she seemed to forget their existence and we got down from the table without that perfect round-off. I could hardly jog her memory without exposing personal greed and self-interest. When giving expen- sive and delicious chocolates to a weekend hostess, how can one ensure that they are made available for one's own consumption?
Name and address withheld A. Where there is a risk of taste-buds being taunted, presentation of such chocolates should be withheld until the moment juste. As dinner draws to a close you could then exclaim to your hostess, 'Oh gosh — I didn't give you your present, did I? It's Chocolates Shall I go and get them?' The table will cry in unison, 'Yeah!' or `Yah!' and you can be among the first of those to fall eagerly on the box.
Q. In the light of an advertisement current- ly featured on television, I wonder if you could reassure me that the word 'panties' used to describe women's underwear — is simply an aberration on the part of the
Dear Mary. . .
advertisers and is not currently in vogue? The word is repeated two or three times in the course of the two-minute ad, and I find it so objectionable that I have to leave the room when it is being broadcast.
L.G., Fosbuty A. The probably male advertisers have clearly been confused by bonkbuster nov- els, where American standards preside, and the putting on and taking off of 'panties' tend to dominate the storylines. In real life, however, panties have never been worn in acceptable English circles. Even the most lubricious femmes and flues fatales talk about pants, knickers or drawers.
Q. My work involves a lot of entertaining and being entertained by clients whose faces fall when I say I won't have a drink. It's not that I disapprove of alcohol, I just don't particularly like it, but I sometimes feel that business would have gone better if I had knocked back a few bottles. How can I avoid appearing censorious in these cir- cumstances?
A.C., London W11 A. When meeting up with such clients, respond to their initial query as to how you are, with the rueful reply, 'Virtually cataton- ic.' Explain that you drank such dramatic quantities the night before that you are still shaking from the effects. In this way your client(s) can drink themselves silly without feeling self-conscious, and you can drink nothing yet still retain a laddish persona.
Q. What can one do when driving past Slough on the M4? I fmd the smell abso- lutely disgusting.
M. W, Marlborough A. The only effective solution is to travel by train. Many rail routes to the West Country give Slough a wide berth, and in this way you need not expose yourself to the five to seven minutes of toxic gases which must be endured when travelling on the M4 by car.
Mary Killen
Previous page
