Q. As part of his mid-life crisis my husband has
bought a brand-new Maserati. It is his pride and joy, but the trouble is that, so far, he has been unable to show it off. We live in the country and invitations to large parties, which should provide a perfect opportunity, have to be ruled out because they invariably involve parking in a muddy field. He does not like to drive it on wet roads because he worries it will get dirty and then rusty underneath. Unlike some of his fellow midlife crisis friends, he does not have a carpeted garage with underfloor heating. How, therefore, without being so coarse as to openly boast, can he let people know that he owns a Maserati in the first place and thereby bask in the admiration of his peers?
A.E., Pewsey, Wilts A. This is a perfect time of year to drive the Maserati to a concert or play at one of your children’s schools. With a careful selection of parking position your husband can be confident that an official will need to address the assembled company over a microphone to make the request: ‘Will the owner of the silver Maserati, registration number such-and-such, please move it since it is blocking important access.’ As your husband stands up and picks his way through the auditorium, mouthing ‘sorry’ towards the stage, his peers will certainly get the message.
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