ANOTHER VOICE
Television: a dreadful danger which Tories have overlooked
AUBERON WAUGH
It is against this background, or armed with this useful and rare piece of know- ledge, that one should judge Mrs Thatch- er's apparent change of heart in the matter of televising the Commons. By some ex- traordinary, possibly miraculous coinci- dence it appears that her Leader of the House, Mr John Biffen, has experienced an identical change of heart at exactly the same time, so that with both front benches in agreement it seems more probable than not that a firm decision to televise — in principle, and for an experimental period, of course — will be taken when the House debates the point between now and the summer recess.
One reason suggested for Mrs Thatch- er's change of heart is that she regards such a development as historically inevitable — this would tend to support the theory of some commentators that she has recently lost all her stuffing, possibly in Malaysia or in Indonesia. Another theory, produced by Mr Adam Raphael in the Observer, is that she feels television cameras might discour- age Labour's yobbish tendency from de- monstrating their brutish, proletarian man- ners on the floor of the House and stopping other Members, like nice Doctor Owen, from making their sensible, right-wing speeches.
If that is really Mrs Thatcher's calcula- tion she would appear not only to have lost her stuffing but also her marbles. In the first place, of course, television cameras will have exactly the opposite effect on the Skinners and Shorts of this world. Their purpose in making a public demonstration is to do exactly that: the more public the better. Among admirers, it is thought an admirable thing to do. Far from reducing the incidence of hooliganism, television cameras will certainly increase it.
In the second place, Mrs Thatcher and the Conservatives stand to gain enormous- ly from these disgraceful scenes. Although the Beast of Bolsover may hearten his own fan club (to which I happen to belong) by this behaviour, reaction among the general public ranges from dismay to derision and disgust. Even in the north of England, Labour voters, generally speaking — I exclude militants, of course — are not impressed. Such exhibitions may help to fortify the resolve of true revolutionaries, but they are a minority inside a minority of the Left and present no serious threat to the equanimity of any of us. So far as the real threat of a future Labour government is concerned, we can all breathe more easily and let our belts out a notch or two for every such outbreak. When disgraceful scenes reach television, we might even open a bottle of champagne.
The gagging of 'Doctor' Owen was particularly beneficial. Anything which prevents a politician from making a speech on any subject is always to be applauded short of such desperate measures as we saw at Brighton, but Owen is a particular danger because nearly everything he says, nowadays, is absolutely right. I am con- vinced that these right-wing noises from Owen, which seem to increase with time, constitute the greatest threat of a Labour victory at the next election. Even with the benefit of television, viewers will be unable to see the cohorts of loony Liberals behind the Alliance (because none of them is in Parliament) any more then they will see the hideous, grimacing figure of Shirley Williams (neither is she). Owen gives a totally false picture of the threat he repre- sents, and there is everything to be said for encouraging the yobbish Left to gag him.
So it might seem that Mrs Thatcher has made an intelligent decision to televise the Commons, but I still feel that she may have miscalculated. Everything depends on the 'Teacher's pet.' nature of the 'balance' or editorial control demanded by the Whips' offices or party machines. Knowing the full extent of Labour's obsession with the media bias against them, we may be certain that 'balance' will be achieved by a tight system of party control. Although the militant Left may be too stupid to realise how unattrac- tive its antics appear on television, Mr Kinnock and the Labour Party apparatus are under no such illusions. They would undoubtedly insist that 'irrelevant' scenes of yobbery and extremism should be edited out.
But what about the Tories, who, at any rate until these magnificent Conservative Students break through the thin yellow line of Gummers, have no yobbish or extreme element? Tory powers of control, we may be sure, will be exercised to ensure that only the official line — whatever it is — is broadcast to the nation.
Which would be all very well if Con- servative front bench spokesmen had any conception, in their vanity, of how disgust- ing they are. Mr Leon Brittan is the classic example. Although I and many other commentators lose no opportunity to assure him that he looks horrible and sounds even worse, this makes not the smallest difference to him. He jumps up on any platform he can find and starts waving his arms around, crying out for attention.
Although Mr Brittan is an extreme example, practically every single Con- servative MP has the same problem to a greater or lesser extent, and Mrs Thatcher herself rates pretty high in the animal repulsion stakes. The truth is that politics attracts only rather repulsive people. It is a waste of time to try to convince Tory politicians of this, but perhaps they might be convinced by the argument that televis- ing the Commons would reflect chiefly to the benefit of the Alliance, who have the inestimable advantage of being without Mrs Shirley Williams in Parliament. Or they might be swayed by another anxiety, that if in their blind vanity they hog hour after boring hour of television time, the resentment engendered will be so intense that the nation will finally rise up and throw them all into the Thames, to make way for something quite alien to the British way of life, a country which is without a Parliament to bore us all . . . I honestly feel they can leave it to their friends in the media to explain Tory policies, and to describe these disgraceful scenes with suit- ably lurid touches.
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